Expectations vs. Reality

"I've done everything you've asked. So you can give me what I want now."

Have you ever said anything like that to God? My guess is probably not in so many words. Naturally, we know better than to be demanding in that way. Right? (You're nodding your head right now, I hope.) But, maybe we secretly do expect God to respond that way.


This past weekend I watched a livestream of a singles conference from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. They had several good speakers, but one in particular said some things that resonated with me. She talked about life plans. As a young adult, she'd mapped out her life, but it seems as if her expectations did not meet her reality. She was still single when she'd planned to be married with children by now.

Imagine these scenarios:

• You studied for a career, but ended up in a different profession. 
• You had intentions of moving to a particular house/neighborhood/city, but ended up in your 3rd or 4th choice.
• You were sure you would be married by a certain age, but find yourself still single.
• You would have 2 or 3 children by the age of 35, but your house is still empty.
• You planned to travel abroad or be a missionary, but somewhere along the way those dreams are still unfulfilled.

You get the picture. If you haven't imagined your own scenario by now, take a few minutes to think about it. We all have these great plans, but sometimes life doesn't align itself to match our plans. Sometimes these plans are really good things, yet hopes and desires remain unfulfilled.

The thing that really struck a chord with me was when the speaker talked about bargaining with God. It's easy to fall into this perception that if I'm doing all the right things--pursuing God, putting God first, reading my Bible regularly, praying--that it's a given that these expectations would be finally be fulfilled. You know, Do this + this = That. That's the way life works. We have a sense of entitlement after we've done "all the right things" so we think to ourselves, surely now that I've done these things, God will finally give me my heart's desires.

Another week goes by...
           Another month goes by...
                      Another year goes by...

and that desire still hasn't been fulfilled. Then what? We start to question God. We start to question ourselves. We compare our lives to others. We may even try to manipulate circumstances, make changes, or simply take over and do it ourselves.

The speaker shared this quote from John Newton:

"Everything is necessary that God sends our way.

Nothing can be necessary that He withholds."

This quote is profound, yet makes me uncomfortable. These things that I find "necessary" may not be necessary in God's design. I'm still processing that thought. But what all of this reminds me of is a simple Bible verse that God continues to put in my path, and has done so quite a lot lately.

For I know
the plans
that I have for you.
They are plans for good
and not for disaster
to give you a future 
and a hope. - Jer. 29:11


(I broke up the verse this way to cause the reader to stop and consider each of these phrases. I recommend reading it several times this way.)

Most of the time I've stopped reading right there at the end of verse 11. But last week Im my devotional reading the next two verses were tacked onto this. They really stood out to me:

In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jer. 29:12-13



Yes, God has plans for me. He knows the plans and they are good plans. He knows exactly when to unfold these plans for me. In the meantime, I need to keep working on really knowing the One who is in charge of those plans, praying to Him. God is listening even when it seems He isn't. I just need to keep looking to Him. It's there that I will find my Hope. My hope is not in the outcome, it's in the One who is in charge of the outcome.

Linking up with TheBarnPrincess.com:

Nuggets of Wisdom: HOPE

It's been a while since I've shared some Nuggets of Wisdom. It used to be a regular feature on this blog, but thought it would be a good time to bring it back this week. It's been somewhat of a theme week for me.

Below are a few things I've run across this week that are "little jewels" I have found inspiring and helpful. I'll share the quote and then a few of my own thoughts.


Nugget #1

"When everything seems to be going wrong, refuse to get discouraged. ...The longer you wait for your prayers to be answered, the closer you are to a breakthrough." From Jesus Today by Sarah Young

It's so easy to get discouraged when things aren't going the way we planned or hoped, isn't it? We have hopes and dreams unfulfilled, day after day, week after week, and year after year. We pray fervently for someone and still don't see a change day after day, week after week, and year after year. Little by little the time between our petitions get a bit longer and sometimes we just give up. Then the Lord reminds us to keep praying, to keep waiting on Him, to place our hope in Him. The Lord uses the testimony of someone else to remind you: He Remembers. He hasn't forgotten. Oh, how sweet that reminder is.

Nugget #2

"...there is never a time when we cannot hope in God, whatever our need or however great our difficulty may be. Even when our situation appears to be impossible, our work is to 'hope in God.' Our hope will not be in vain, and in the Lord's own timing help will come." From Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman.

Well, this has been a week in which I needed to hear these encouraging words of hope, of promise, or God remembering me. It hasn't been a bad week at all. Rather it's been a week of sameness. I get up in the morning, go to work, come home, and go to bed. Very routine and sometimes dull. Oh, yeah I've been doing things around the house, on Facebook, some reading, that kind of thing. But sometimes I long for other things, a slightly different life. At the same time, I'm trying to embrace these quiet days of routine as all part of God's blessing. I am continuing to put my hope in God and his timing. I am thankful for that reminder this week: None of this is in vain; nothing is wasted.



Nugget #3

"You may be sure that God will never say to us, 'Stand still,' 'Sit still,' or 'Be still,' unless He is going to do something." From Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman.

I am always anxious to jump in and just "gitter done,"so sitting still and waiting on God to act often feels painfully slow. But, allowing God to work in His time in His way is always the best choice. I place my hope in God. I was talking with a friend with week about this very topic of "being still" before the Lord. This has been a recurring phrase in my life for the past two years. Over and over again, scripture has reminded me that I am supposed to be still in one particular area of my life: my singleness. It's the same one I've referred to above. And that leads me to one other nugget related to all of this...



Nugget #4

"...faith requires us to do nothing at all, while our human nature screams to interfere. In these cases we believe; therefore, we do not act. Wisdom is knowing the difference between the two." From Believing God by Beth Moore.

This quote will require a little background. Faith often requires action such as when God told Abraham to pick up and move or He told Noah to build an Ark. But, sometimes faith means taking no action. A case in point is when Jesus was being arrested before the crucifixion. He could have done something about it, but Jesus chose to trust God's plan.
     When the world screams at me that I need to do something about my singleness, it's hard not to get worked up about it. I mean, I really would like to do something about it. But, I have to keep going back to God and asking Him what what He wants me to do about it. The answer always comes back to: Wait. Be still. God wants to do something in my life and frankly I think He doesn't want to share the glory with me. Ha! But, I can place my hope in God and not in my self. Self always thinks she knows what should be done, but self is often wrong.


So, let me tie all this together...

Did you see a common thread running through all of these? It's the word Hope.
     Hope is lost when we don't see a future. When we can't see what God is doing, we can't see a future, and it's dark, that's when faith has to kick in. I've used this quote before on this blog and even have it posted in my kitchen:

"The greatest lessons in faith are learned in the dark." ~ Tony Evans

When we are hopeless (or discouraged) we cannot see the future or what God is doing. The future looks dark and God keeps telling us to be still because He knows the plan. You see, God knows the plans He has for us and it's a good one (Jeremiah 29:11). God does His best work behind the scenes. We just continue to look to Him for our hope and our future.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, 

because anyone who comes to him must believe 

that he exists and that he rewards those 

who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Your Will Be Done

Are you familiar with King Hezekiah? A number of years ago I recall studying Hezekiah of the Old Testament. He was one of the few good kings who ruled over Judah. The story of Hezekiah made a lasting impression on me. I think about his story occasionally and was once again reminded of Hezekiah's story. 


Hezekiah followed the Lord, but he became ill and was told by a prophet that it was time to set his affairs in order. Hezekiah was told that he would not recover from the illness and would die. Imagine knowing that!  

Hezekiah did something bold--he prayed fervently for his life to be spared. He reminded God of his faithfulness to serve the Lord and how he always tried to please God in everything he did. 

So, Hezekiah was a good guy who loved God. He prayed for something he really wanted, asking God to change his mind and allow him to live. Then he wept bitterly. What Hezekiah was asking for was not really a bad thing (it wasn't against any of God's laws, it wasn't immoral, etc.). In his mind, Hezekiah wasn't ready to die and would like to continue leading Judah on the Lord's behalf.

God heard his prayer and extended Hezekiah's life by 15 years...

‘This is what the Lord, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you, and three days from now you will get out of bed and go to the Temple of the Lord. I will add fifteen years to your life, and I will rescue you and this city from the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my own honor and for the sake of my servant David’” (2 Kings 20:5).
 
But (wouldn't you know it) during those extra years bad things happened. Hezekiah allowed people from other countries to see all the treasures in Judah (the Babylonians would eventually come back and take all the treasures). This time also ushered in one of the worst kings in their history to take over when Hezekiah finally died--his own son, Manasseh. 

The sovereign God knew that it would be better for Hezekiah to die the first time he became so ill, but God allowed him to live. He answered Hezekiah's big prayer.

I think of this scenario sometimes when I pray those big prayers. In my hurt and suffering, when I ask God to change my circumstances--or those of others--I wonder if having my way will result in relief now, but more pain later? It always gives me pause to ask for God's will to be done.

The thing that I am learning is that it's okay to ask God and pray those big prayers. It's okay to believe God for big things, to have faith in a God who can move mountains and creates life.

God wants me to talk to Him about these big things and the little things that concern me. But, I also understand that when I ask, I should keep in mind what Jesus taught the disciples to pray in Matthew 6:10 says,"Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

Wax On, Wax Off

I was watching the 1984 version of The Karate Kid and a spiritual analogy came to mind. Daniel wants to learn to defend himself so he asks Mr. Miyagi to train him in karate. Miyagi finally agrees as long as Daniel agrees not to ask any questions. "No questions," says Miyagi.

"Wax on, wax off" Karate Kid 1984.

Daniel shows up ready for his first karate training session and ends up washing cars instead. This is where that famous "wax on, wax off" scene happens. Daniel is a bit confused, but follows orders. He's trusting Miyagi will get around to the real karate training eventually.

The next day Daniel shows up and is shown how to "sand the floor" which he proceeds to spend the entire day doing. This process continues day after day with similar chores of "paint the fence" and "paint the house." By this time, a very patient Daniel is finally getting worn out, frustrated, feeling used, and is ready to go back on his promise of "no questions."

Daniel gets angry with Miyagi and is ready to give up and walk away. Miyagi says, "Ah, not everything is as seems."

What Daniel did not understand was that all the chores he was doing which seemed like busywork, was really his training. During this time Daniel was learning to trust his teacher, he was learning to focus, he was building up strength and skills in his arms. Miyagi's method of teaching was vastly different than the training the other boys at the dojo were getting.

Have you picked up on the spiritual analogy already? Sometimes we ask God for something--a ministry, a new job, a family--and then we find ourselves a million miles away from what we had in mind. Now, we'll assume that whatever we've prayed for is something good, legal, moral, and fits in God's overall plan for our lives. If that's true then it's entirely possible that God will give us that ministry, job, family at some point in the future. However, while we may think we're ready to tackle that dream now, God knows better so He puts us through some training.

In this training time God asks us to trust Him implicitly. We must rest our faith in whatever God is asking us to do right now. And, unlike Miyagi, God doesn't mind if we ask questions (and He's patient when we do!).

We may be waxing cars or painting fences and somehow all of that just may translate into an answer to our prayers later. Ah, not everything is as seems.

Hmmm. Just something to ponder next time we feel as if what we're doing now doesn't really matter.

For we walk by faith, not by sight. ~ 2 Corinthians 5.7

Washed Up on Gilligan's Island?

Okay, so life is not exactly going the way you planned it. You're not in that career you want, you're not living in that house you'd rather be living in, or maybe you're still looking for Mister or Miss Right.

Sometimes it feels as if you're just being pulled along by the currents of life and you've washed ashore on Gilligan's Island. You set up a hut on the island and keep looking for a way to get off--a way of escape. Now what? What's the purpose of this island experience? I mean, seriously, what good is a formal gown and a suitcase full of money on a deserted island? (That was a Gilligan's Island reference in case that one zipped by you.)


Suppose, just suppose, that where you are right now is part of God's calling--or ministry--for your life? (Say what???)

Yes, that dead-end job or unemployment may be part of God's plan. That neighborhood you're living in or your singleness may very well be part of your present ministry. None of these situations are necessarily permanent. Like any other calling or ministry, it's for a season. Some seasons are just a little longer than others. For example, I could borrow the book title for my singleness season from Laura Ingalls Wilder and call it The Long Winter. Yeah, it's been one very long season. But it is just that--a season. It's not necessarily forever.

However, I do know that in my season--or whatever season you find yourself in--there is purpose. I was listening to a message by Tony Evans recently and he made a few suggestions:

•  Ask God how He wants to use me in this present state that I am in.
•  Suppose God wants to use me in this present circumstance, but I might be so distracted by my circumstances that I am not ready or available to be used.
• Use this time to prepare for what lies ahead. (If you want a better job, train for it or study. If you want a mate, become a student of godly marriages and make sure you're ready to be a mate. If you want a better home, start saving up for it.)

In this season I need to be available for God to use. If I'm spending all of my free time chasing after what I want, I may miss those opportunities of ministry. It could be some of those opportunities are part of God's plan to prepare me for what's coming later. All of it becomes part of God's plan. And that circles back around to the theme verse I have chosen for this blog...

For I know the plans I have 

for you,” says the Lord. 

“They are plans for good 

and not for disaster, to give you

a future and a hope.  

~ Jeremiah 29:11

Perspective

"Perspective is never just what you see.

Perspective is how you view

what you see." ~ Tony Evans

From my perspective, things can look distorted or overwhelming or never-ending.

I recently read an interesting example of this: Two mountain climbers looked at the mountain they were about to climb. They spent all day climbing up the mountain. Finally at the top, the exhausted younger climber said to the experienced climber, "We finally made it to the top!" The experienced climber pointed over the other climber's shoulder and said, "No. This is just the top of the first hill. The real mountain is over there."

Life challenges are often like that climbing experience. We're anxious to get to the "end of the road" or the "top of that hill" so that we can see what's on the other side, move on, and enjoy the view from the top. The climb can be exhilarating at times and other times it's simply exhausting. We finally get to what appears to be the top of the mountain only to discover there's still more climbing to be done.

From the climber's perspective, life (problems or the future) can seem impossibly far, unbelievably high, or much too big. God has a different perspective than we do. I've touched on that subject before on this blog. From His sovereign position, God is able to see things from a much different perspective. He can see from the beginning of time to the end; the past and eternity at a glance.

It's hard to imagine that perspective with this human mind. Centuries are like the blink of an eye to God. Gigantic mountains are little more than an ant hill from God's perspective. Evenso, God understands our limitations for understanding this perspective. After all, He came to earth in the human form of Jesus Christ to live among people. Gratefully, He extends mercy to us when we whine and complain about those mountains and long journeys. 

Once again, it seems to boil down to a matter of trust. We have to trust that God knows what He's doing, that He's equipped us for the journey, and that He's right there climbing with us just like that experienced climber in the story. We have to see things from God's perspective and if we cannot see the path before us, we have to trust the Lord to guide us step by step.

"Trusting the Lord means looking 

beyond what we can see to what God sees. 

David won the victory against Goliath—an

experienced, intimidating warrior—because

the young shepherd saw the conflict from the God's perspective." ~ Dr. Charles Stanley

Mount Goliath is intimidating. It's often more than a day's journey. It can stretch into weeks, months, or even years. The climb becomes so tiresome that I'd rather just camp out at the top of the hill I'm already on (or even turn around and go back). After all, the view on this hill isn't so bad. But...

I know God has a better view in mind for me. I have also learned that if I stick close to my Guide, He is more than willing to encourage me the whole way. I couldn't make it up that mountain without Him.

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides

in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, 

for apart from Me you can do nothing. - John 15:5

Blessed Assurance

Listen to the song

This song was on my mind this morning. I grew up hearing it regularly in church. There's just something comforting and familiar about the song. It's a reminder of my rich heritage of believing family members. It's also a fond reminder of all the years sitting on a pew and hearing these great hymns of faith being sung by people I have called my church family. I know my parents thought I wasn't listening half the time, but I was. Kids hear more than adults think they hear.

Besides all of those memories, the words to this song are just so rich in meaning. In this world I have so very little assurance of anything or anyone. Nothing lasts. It's not easy to count on anyone or anything. But I do have a blessed assurance in Jesus Christ is as my Savior. I can praise Him even when things are not going quite right. I can be at rest in the midst of unrest. And one day I will see these wonderful visions of rapture unfolding before my eyes and angels descending from above. One day I will stand before my Savior and hope to hear, "Well done my faithful servant."

For now, I am watching and waiting, looking above. I am filled with His goodness and lost in His love. Yes, this is my story, this is my song!   

In Retrospect

In the past, I usually dedicated the year-end posts to looking back at what the most popular articles have been. It's a great idea to look back and find out what story was clicked on the most. However, I don't feel the need to do that this year. First of all, I already have a little blogger widget in the right-hand column which shows the top 5 posts. It's there all the time for anyone to see. Second, I don't do typical blog things here. I try to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me in what to write about and when to write. I don't stick to a rigid writing schedule and I'm not trying to follow all the "rules" in order to make this a successful blog. Whether I have 3 or 300 readers makes no difference to me. I write for whoever the Lord leads to read this blog.

I started this blog in April of this year after spending a few years blogging for another site. This blog is more personal and is an outgrowth of my spiritual journey. As I grapple with issues and absorb what the Lord teaches me, I try to share the things that are on my heart. Personally, this year has been a strange mix of events and I've spent some time today reflecting on them. I'm still trying to make some sense of it all. As I was driving home from an appointment, I was listening to the radio and heard a song by Casting Crowns that I had never heard before. God wanted me to hear it. The song was called Already There. The lyrics to the song really helped me remember that even though all sorts of random events may be occurring, God sees them all as a memory. He's already there at the end of my life looking at it from that perspective and everything makes sense. From my perspective, nothing seems to make sense and I'm always looking for answers. God has a different perspective than we do and, unlike me, is not bound by time (minutes, hours, days, weeks, years). 

I decided to look up the song on YouTube. The first thing I found was not the official song but a short video from the artist explaining the meaning behind the song. I loved watching this video and want to share it with you here. If you are struggling to make sense of events in your life, watch this short video and then listen to the actual song. Remember that God is always in control and He knows what you are going through because He's already there seeing your life in retrospect.
   
 

 

Casting Crowns: behind the song "Already There"

All Things Work Together...

I recently started following Chuck Swindoll's daily devotion via Facebook. I enjoy logging in and seeing the way he brings scripture to a place of practical application in my life. This one was really worth sharing since it's something I have written about several times in the past. It's about God's Timing. Here's a portion of this devotion below and I've included a link to his website so you can read the entire devotion.

From Chuck Swindoll at Insightforliving.org:

Among Christians, a favorite verse of Scripture is Romans 8:28:

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

The key part of the verse is "work together." That verse does not say "all things are good"—just as Solomon's comment does not say "everything is beautiful." It says, "All things are good as they work together for His purpose." This says, "He makes everything beautiful in its time." Read the rest

Looking Back, but Moving Forward

A friend and I were recently talking about life changes and the past. She sometimes struggles with how often she should revisit the past. Her thought was that it's good to revisit the past because so much can be learned from it. But on the flip-side of that coin it's important not to dwell in the past. So what's the healthy balance?

We've probably all known someone who tended to live in the past. Sometimes it's evident by their appearance or the things they do or say. Many people do this because it's a place where they were most happy and/or comfortable. Some of that behavior may be harmless. Then there are those who are reliving the past over and over again because they are still working through unhappy memories, bitterness, or issues. They haven't come to terms with whatever happened and so their life is "on hold." Our Enemy loves for us to get stuck in the past, dredging up old painful memories. His purpose is to keep us from fulfilling God's plan for our lives. 

As my friend shared this struggle a word picture came to my mind. I was visualizing how a driver must regularly look in the rear view mirror to see what's behind her. Glances in that direction are vitally important to a driver for her safety and well-being. However, the driver must keep her main focus on the road before her. My friend helped expand this word picture by adding a great point. A new driver needs practice learning how to glance back at the proper intervals and not become distracted. Only when a driver matures does she learn these techniques.


What does the Word tell us about the past?

The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger. ~ Job 17:9

“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. ~ Isaiah 43:18-19

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. ... I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~ Philippians 3:7-9, 12-14

We should keep an eternal perspective on our past, present, and future, staying focused on God and His path for us. Remember what God has done and share these things with others, but continue moving forward, pressing on to the end of the race. If you're not looking where you're going, you may miss out on something really great!

What keeps you stuck in the past?