Gravity

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I was amused by this cartoon featuring a beloved cartoon character. Anyone who ever watched this cartoon will immediately recognize the truth in how the coyote always seemed to defy gravity. He was lighter than air until he looked down at the ground miles below. At that point, he fell like a rock down, down, down until he hit the ground. Eventually the coyote walked away from the fall and chased the road runner again.

After I saw this cartoon I immediately thought of Peter when he stepped out of the boat to take that gravity defying walk on water toward Jesus (Matthew 14:22-33). Peter stepped out in faith, but when he took his eyes off Jesus he immediately began to sink into the water. 

I don't have any great revelation to share here. This was just another reminder to me that sometimes Jesus asks us to "defy gravity" and step out in faith, trusting Him. When those moments come, we just have to keep our eyes on Jesus and trust that if we sink, He will be there to pick us up.

 

Absence and Disappointments

I haven't done a lot of writing lately. The last time I posted on this blog (about six weeks ago) I alluded to some things going on in my life that kept me busy, but also some things that were testing my faith.


I have written only a little in my personal journal. Friends on Facebook may have noticed that I don't write/post as often there either. The easy answer is to say that I have gotten out of the habit of writing. Truth. But I've also been struggling to put words to what's been going on inside of me lately.

Each time I think to myself that I should write, I procrastinate and avoid thinking about it. I busy myself with anything else. I suppose avoidance is the main reason I haven't been writing. 


Today I decided to go back to the beginning of this blog and read the first post. It reminded me why I started this blog. I felt as if God was leading me to share things that I was learning as I journeyed through my life. Writing was as much for my own benefit (therapy) as it was for anyone else. I had no idea whether anyone would ever read my blog anyway.

You see, when I started this blog I was recovering from a broken heart over a failed relationship. To maintain some privacy, I have never mentioned that fact before on this blog. I also didn't want my blog to be all about that. I chose to write in general enough terms so that anyone going through difficult circumstances could relate.

The broken heart from two years ago has healed--mostly. I still struggle at times. I won't go into what's happened in the past two years because you can read previous posts on this blog and figure that out. To sum it up it has been a time of waiting, of learning, of praying, of more waiting, and this cycle has continued. 

During these past two years my relationship with Jesus has grown exponentially. I once had a spiritual mentor ask me if I had known what was going to happen before I met this guy, would I still have gone through with it? The answer then was yes. The answer now is still yes. Pain and all, Jesus is still worth it and He's made use of everything I went through.

Two months ago marked the two year anniversary of when that relationship officially ended. Something else changed about that time. This guy, who I still considered a friend, completely disappeared from my life. I had limited contact with him and we did not live in the same city so we never saw each other. However, without any explanation, he suddenly cut off all contact with me. 

Why should I care? Trust me. This doesn't make any sense without all the back story. But, having that door finally and completely closed like that was like a mild earthquake in my life. Yes, earth-shattering describes it. You see, I did not get the closure that I desired, that I had sincerely hoped and prayed for.

Yes, I had fervently prayed for some closure with this man--to clear the air--and had hoped to see that come to fruition. We had been good friends and I wanted to see that friendship return. When that door closed--and God allowed it to be closed--it was upsetting. After pondering my feelings of why I was so upset, I finally came to realize that my feelings were hurt. Not just by this guy, but by God. The truth was that I was disappointed in God.

This disappointment caused me to emotionally shut down in God's presence. Oh, I still read my Bible, I continued to read devotionals and attend church. I even prayed...some. Frankly, I was demoralized. I had lost some confidence and hope in God. When I was believing in Him for something I thought was a good thing and the answer I wanted did not materialize, it shook my faith. 

When it came to praying and asking God for anything I had come to a place of thinking to myself, What's the point? Why should I pray? He'll just say no again.
It reminded me of the time I asked a simple favor of a supervisor and I fully expected a yes based on our relationship and the fact that I rarely asked for favors like this. However, this one time I got a no. It was surprising and disappointing. It made me rethink my relationship with that supervisor and fearful of asking for favors ever again.

Where this situation with God was concerned, in my head I knew that I wasn't thinking correctly. But, my heart was disappointed and confused. My relationship with Jesus had grown to a point of knowing what to expect of Him. So when I didn't get the answer I expected, it was very confusing. I began to question everything that I had been through the past two years and I questioned my intimate relationship with Jesus. It really has been a time of soul-searching.

Then one day a few weeks ago I was scrolling through Facebook and happened to see a quote from an author that I follow. It said, "…the miracles in the authentic Gospels are about love, not power...Although Jesus’ miracles were far too selective to solve every human disappointment, they served as signs of his mission, previews of what God would someday do for all creation." The quote came from a book titled Disappointment With God by Philip Yancy. 

That was it! Seeing that quote and book title helped define what I'd been feeling for several weeks. I bought the e-book and have been reading it. I have found myself nodding in agreement over some of the things I'm reading. I've also found myself very convicted as I realize that this whole life isn't all about me. This has forced me to look at this world from God's perspective and imagine His disappointment with these people He created and how we always fall short. Imagine His disappointment with me! Wow. Talk about turning the tables on the situation!

I won't pretend that everything is "all better now." I am still working through all of these issues with God. I am still healing and learning and processing. And I have to remember to keep my hope in Christ and not in the outcome of a particular request. 

Keeping it real...

Wordy Wednesday

This is my command--be strong and corageous! 

Do not be afraid or discouraged. 

For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

This verse in the book of Joshua has become one of my favorite verses. Maybe it's because the Lord puts this verse in my path every so often--particularly when I really need the reminder.

I heard someone wise say that when God keeps telling you something over and over, it's not because He's forgotten what he's said. It's because He's trying to remind you or teach you something. So, whenever the same Bible verse keeps popping up over and over--I take note.

Is there a Bible verse that has become your favorite this way?

What Are You Trusting In?

"What are you trusting in that makes you so confident?"

Those were the words spoken by the Assyrians standing just outside the city of Judah (2 Kings 18:19-24). This may be ancient history, but there is modern day application to this story. The Assyrians had already conquered nearby Samaria. Now they were standing outside the city of Judah politely, but firmly requesting that King Hezekiah surrender.

Typically we think of conquerors as those who storm the gates. They shoot first and ask questions later. But sometimes the enemy stands outside and attempts to use reason to gain control. Why not? If bloodshed can be avoided with a little attack on the mind, give it a try.

King Hezekiah was one of those good guys. He trusted the Lord, obeyed God, and removed pagan shrines in the land. He followed in the footsteps of his ancestor, King David. Consequently, the Lord blessed him. But,the enemy still showed up. Hezekiah tried to smooth over any wrongs his people had done to the Assyrians. He offered reparations of gold and silver. It did no good. The Assyrians weren't interested.

That's when the mind games began. The enemy was standing outside their city walls asking them to surrender. When Hezekiah refused, the Assyrian representative accused them of relying on their own intellect or on another army to rescue them. After Hezekiah refused to surrender, the Assyrian man pulled out all the stops by suggesting that God wanted them to surrender. He implied that God had led them to have Judah surrender because of something they had done.

Here's where the present-day life application comes in. We're cruising along in our lives, trying to follow God's path, being obedient yet not always succeeding. The enemy sneaks up beside us to remind us of those times we've failed and entices us to surrender. He fills our heads with doubt and fear. We try to stand firm in our faith, trusting that the path we're on is the one God want us on. Inside we wonder if he's right...Maybe God did send this circumstance to get me back into His will or to punish me? 

Hezekiah stayed firm in his faith. He prayed rather than responding to those threats (2 Kings 19). The Lord responded by delivering them. In fact, more than 100,000 Assyrians died in their sleep. God stepped in and helped calm their fears and He took care of the enemy. Hezekiah did not trust in his intellect. He did not trust in the strength of his army or Egypt's army. He trusted God.

The enemy seems to be telling me to "throw in the towel," with lies such as: 

The odds of finding a mate at your age are very low. It's time to give up. 

You don't have what it takes to write. There are plenty of writers out there already.

I could go on and on with a laundry list of lies, doubts, and fears. When I hear these, I need to remember to pray and consult the Lord. I need to remember to trust in the God, His promises, and not in anything or anyone else.

What lies are you listening to? Have you consulted the Lord about it?

I'll end with these verses from Psalm 56:1-7.

O God, have mercy on me, for people are hounding me.  

My foes attack me all day long. 

I am constantly hounded by those who slander me, 

and many are boldly attacking me.  

But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. 

I praise God for what he has promised.  

I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?  

What can mere mortals do to me?  

They are always twisting what I say;  

they spend their days plotting to harm me. 

They come together to spy on me— 

watching my every step, eager to kill me.  

Don’t let them get away with their wickedness; 

in your anger, O God, bring them down.

I Will Not Be Forsaken

Have you ever prayed and felt as if you're not really getting any answers? It can be a little frustrating, especially if you're accustomed to getting answers.

There seems to be a lot written about the times when God is silent and you can't sense His presence. From what I've read, those are often extreme times in which believers struggle to hear anything from God. One Old Testament example of this is when God was silent for 400 years before the birth of Jesus. Uh, 400 years is pretty extreme. However, I haven't seen a lot written on the those less-extreme times when you can still sense God's presence, but answers seem to be few and far between.

That's sort of where I've been living in the past few weeks--in the dark. There's light just outside my "door" so I can see enough to keep on doing what I'm supposed to do. I just seem to be stuck here. Tried to step out of that darkness briefly and soon realized that wasn't the right place to be. Hmmm. What to do? I guess I'll just keep waiting here. I've heard that if it's not clear what you're supposed to do, then stay put.

The really fascinating thing about this place is that God keeps reassuring me that the dark is the correct place for me to be--for now. He shows me through scripture and by the things I hear godly people say. About the time I need some encouragement, I see or hear some great quotes like this one from Tony Evans which I heard and quickly wrote down on the chalkboard in my kitchen:

I've also seen scripture which reminds me of God's faithfulness...

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, 

for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. 

He will not fail you or forsake you. Deut. 31:6

For the Lord will not abandon His people,  

nor will He forsake His inheritance. Psalm 94:14

...and heard some great songs, such as After All by Meredith Andrews. I really like the words to this song which remind me that God is constant (never-changing), He is only good, and He is sovereign.


So, God is here and is "speaking to me," but He isn't giving me the answers I'm looking for. I do appreciate the fact that He continues to remind me that He's still here and He won't forsake me even when things are not at all clear. From the things I've read, these dark places seem to be where God is working to conform us to His will and prepare us for what lies ahead.

That gets me to thinking how many seeds are germinated underground, with very little light. That's where the really important growth takes place. One time I was even given seeds which required scoring before it could be planted. Without cutting open that seed, no growth would happen and the seed would just sit there. However, the scoring process allowed the new life to begin coming out of the ground.


Sometimes a little pain, a little dark, and rain is required for new growth. But... the farmer is still there tenderly coaxing that seed into new growth.

Three on Thursday

I want to share a few notes that I took during a sermon a few months ago. The scripture reference was Joshua chapter 5 as the Israelites prepared for battle. Even though this chapter is mostly about a particular procedure/ritual that I won't mention by name here, there is a lot of real-life application to be had in this chapter. I was quite surprised.

Our teacher said that sometimes our battle is fear and doubt rather than the seemingly looming problem in front of us. How true!

Here are three principles which will come in handy before we head into any battle:

1. Make sure you are walking in the clear, revealed will of God. Prepare yourself. If there's any known sin you haven't dealt with, make sure to confess and/or forgive.
2. Remember what God has already done for you. Remember His faithfulness and provision in the past and present. God will be there with you.
3. The presence of God will challenge us. God will give leadership, direction, and provision for the battle. Recognize His presence--even in the midst of fear and doubt! (Read Joshua 5:13-15.)

These are some really sound principles to remember whenever fear or doubt begin to knock on our heart's door.

Strongholds: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

In my Bible reading lately I've run across the word strongholds. Now, typically when I hear about strongholds, I immediately think of something negative--an area of my life where the Enemy loves to work. Places of unforgiveness, low self-esteem, fear, doubt, worry, pride, etc. are all considered strongholds that believers hold onto for one reason or another. I've never really considered what the term stronghold means.


Here's an outline of biblical usage which comes from the BlueLetterBible.org lexicon:

Place or means of safety, protection, refuge, stronghold

a) place of safety, fastness, harbour, stronghold

b) refuge (of God) (fig.)

c) human protection (fig.)

The Bible usages refer to it as a fortified place. The same root word as Fortress (2 Sam. 22:33) and Strength (Neh. 8:10) and Defense (Ps. 27:1) and Refuge (Ps. 52:7) and Helmet (Ps. 60:7) and Protection (Is. 27:5) and Safety (Is. 30:3)

So if a stronghold is actually a place of safety or a refuge, then how has it become associated with sin? I don't think the strongholds mentioned above start out as sin. We worry about finances when times are lean. That's a normal human thought. But it's when we stay in that place of worry--we camp out there--that it becomes a place of sin (a stronghold). That's when we are essentially saying we don't trust God to provide. That's only one example of a potential stronghold.

What I found really interesting is the connection between the definition of stronghold and our (my) own sins. I started thinking about what I turn to for safety, for refuge, for strength for comfort. If it's not God first, has it become a stronghold in my life? Hmmm. Ouch!

"A stronghold is an area of thinking

in which we allow Satan entry.  

Satan cannot force his way into our mind.

It's our private space." ~ Charles Stanley

I don't have a lot of answers here. I'm just sharing my thought process as I grapple with issues. However, I do know that only God's Word can break down those strongholds. Truth defeat lies. So here is a bit of truth to hold onto as we think through this issue. And if you have any thoughts on this subject, I'd love to hear it.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. 
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up 
against the knowledge of God, and we take captive 
every thought to make it obedient to Christ.~ 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Wasting Time

Ever have a problem that just keeps you so perplexed that you spend hours trying to figure out what to do about it? I'm not talking about common issues such as:

What should I serve my guests at the next dinner party? 

or

Should I buy Aunt Mildred a gift certificate or that book she's been wanting?

I'm talking about the types of issues which don't have ready answers, especially the ones which have so many why and how questions attached to them. I usually file these under "life issues." Life suddenly turns into a 1000-piece puzzle and you have no idea what the big picture is.


I tend to be a bit of a detective. I'm also inquisitive and a "fixer." Therefore, these little traits often, okay, always cause me to look for answers to problems and why they occurred in the first place.

During the past few months I've tried to figure out the whys and hows of a particularly vexxing situation in my life. Actually, I wasted a whole lot of time. Now I realize that's exactly where our enemy, Satan, wants me to live my life. He would like for me to spend lots of time and energy fretting and fussing over something I cannot do anything about.

Don't get me wrong: It's definitely okay for me to pray about it and ask God to help or provide clear direction. But when I spend so much time trying to figure things out that it causes confusion, doubt, and other negative emotions, then I've gone too far.

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, 

as in all the churches of the saints. ~ 1 Corinthians 14:33

It's times like this when God wants me to simply trust Him. When I cannot understand what's going on or what I should do next, it's time to trade in that detective's license for that warm shelter of trust in the shadow of His wings. 

Have you ever noticed that weeks, months, or even years down the road from a problem you can look back and see how God worked everything out (probably without your help)? In the midst of that situation it didn't appear that God was doing anything [but He was] and questions were unending!

I saw this quote recently and thought it was appropriate:

Trust always requires having some 

unanswered questions in your life. ~ Joyce Meyer

I believe that is very true. Once I began to place my trust in God to handle my problems in His way and in His time, peace moved into the place where confusion, fear, and doubt had resided. God gave those three an eviction notice! 

Did I get all the answers to my Why and How questions? Nope. But, little by little, God has given me some answers. I am still waiting on the remaining answers but at least I'm no longer fretting over them. I still sometimes get discouraged, but God knows what I need and will give me encouragement through the Word.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. 

~Proverbs 3:5-6

What about you? How do you handle these issues and unanswered questions? What has the Lord taught you during these times?

Hope for this Unsteady Heart

Earlier this week I wrote a post about true love and trusting Jesus.  Events drove me to my knees seeking the Lord. It was during those unsteady times that Jesus stepped in to steady my heart, to catch the tears, and He lovingly walked with me through the uncertainty. There is hope for the unsteady heart and that hope can be found through Jesus.

I'm a big fan of Kari Jobe and especially her song called Steady My Heart. I've heard it on the radio recently and identified with the lyrics. I want to share the video here for anyone else who may be experiencing the unsteadiness that life brings. I hope you will be blessed by this song as much as I have been.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Not the Ghostbusters, I hope! 

Actually, today's post is about Self-Reliance vs. God-Reliance.

Who do you call on...
     When times are tough?
     When you need help?
     When you're lonely?
     When you're afraid?
     When you simply do not understand what's going on?

Or do you...
     Suck it up?
     Pull up your bootstraps and do it yourself?
     Veg out in front of the television with a pint of ice cream?
     Act out and tell people off?
     Over analyze the situation and come up with a plan?

Imagine yourself stranded in the desert. There's nothing for miles around and your car is broken down. There's no traffic on the road. You've been sitting there waiting for a few hours as the heat bears down on you. That bottle of water you brought along is empty. Suddenly a car appears just over the horizon and gets closer and closer. The driver stops and asks if you need help. You wave them away and say, "I got myself into this mess. I'll figure a way out. Thanks, anyway." What???? Why in the world would you wave away someone who is willing and available to provide help? Oh, that's right: Self-Reliance.

Our society expects us to be self-reliant. Don't get me wrong, self-reliance isn't all bad. Really. I mean, if you know how to fix a toilet yourself and don't have to pay a plumber, self-reliance is very good! But, there are times when self-reliance instead of God-reliance is not good.

In 1 Samuel 27:1 we see David on the run from Saul. David is giving up hope that Saul will ever stop chasing him. In fact, he's pretty sure he won't live through this experience.

But David thought to himself, “One of these days 

I will be destroyed by the hand of Saul. 

The best thing I can do is to escape to the land of the Philistines. 

Then Saul will give up searching for me anywhere

in Israel, and I will slip out of his hand.”

Notice that David "thought to himself." That was his first mistake. He was tired of running and he didn't bother consulting God. He listened to his own counsel then David made an alliance with Achish, a Philistine King. This was not part of God's plan. Yes, David was feeling the pressure of his circumstances, he felt disappointment because he had been anointed King and was not given the throne, and I'm certain he was frustrated. (He had two wives, his men, and their families traveling with him. Don't you just know somebody must have asked Are we there yet?) On top of all that, David had no home and was constantly on the run. That would be difficult for anyone. But, David decided to take matters into his own hands. Sounds reasonable to us. But it wasn't what God had planned. You'll have to read the rest of the story on your own.

Self-reliance provides no rest and no peace. God-reliance provides rest and peace, even in the midst of trying circumstances.

Does God allow us to be self-reliant? Yes. He allows us to make choices in our free will. God would much rather we always rely on Him. But, He is always close by to assure that His plans for our lives move forward. God is able to untangle the nets we step in and smooth over some of the rough patches we make for ourselves. Wouldn't it just be easier to rely on God first, though? Who you gonna call?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

~  Proverbs 3:5-6

Doubts to the Extreme

I recently wrote a post on this topic of doubt. I realized I had enough material to write much more as the Bible seems to be filled with passages about doubt. I am in good company when it comes to this particular emotion. Can you identify?

It's so easy to look at a situation which seems hopeless and project our human limitations onto them. But God does not have these limitations. We try to fix or handle things ourselves--usually without lasting success. We abandon a project or mission that God gave us because we doubt our effectiveness. Or we may even dismiss an opportunity simply because we doubt our own abilities. Remember Moses who was called by God to go speak to Pharaoh? Moses doubted his own ability to speak publicly.

Here are a few Scriptures about doubt:

When doubts filled my mind,  

your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. 

~Psalm 94:19

Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him (Peter). 

“You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” 

~Matthew 14:31

Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith

and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. 

You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up 

and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. ~Matthew 21:21

“Why are you frightened?” he asked.  

“Why are your hearts filled with doubt? ~Luke 24:38  

I've been reading in Psalm 78 which was written by Asaph who teaches his people by using examples from their own history. One of the examples he used is the Israelites wandering in the desert after fleeing Egypt. Over and over again the Lord provided for their needs and rescued them with mighty miracles. Even so, the Israelites rebelled against God and doubted He would be there for them. Actually, this was doubt taken to the extreme. (The following passage of Scripture is long, but I just couldn't leave anything out, so hang in there.)

Yet they kept on sinning against him, rebelling against the Most High in the desert.
They stubbornly tested God in their hearts, demanding the foods they craved.   

They even spoke against God himself, saying, “God can’t give us food in the wilderness.
Yes, he can strike a rock so water gushes out, 
but he can’t give his people bread and meat.”

 
When the Lord heard them, he was furious.  
The fire of his wrath burned against Jacob.
    Yes, his anger rose against Israel, 

 for they did not believe God or trust him to care for them. 

 But he commanded the skies to open; he opened the doors of heaven.
He rained down manna for them to eat; he gave them bread from heaven.
They ate the food of angels! God gave them all they could hold.

 
He released the east wind in the heavens and 
guided the south wind by his mighty power.
He rained down meat as thick as dust—birds as plentiful as the sand on the seashore!

 
He caused the birds to fall within their camp and all around their tents.
The people ate their fill. He gave them what they craved.
But before they satisfied their craving, while the meat was yet in their mouths,
the anger of God rose against them, and he killed their strongest men.
    He struck down the finest of Israel’s young men.

But in spite of this, the people kept sinning.
    Despite his wonders, they refused to trust him.
So he ended their lives in failure, their years in terror.

~Psalm 78:17-33

This is not a feel-good passage to read. This was a reminder of the path down which doubt can take me. What starts out as a little nugget of doubt in my mind or my heart could easily turn into rebellion. I might doubt that God is doing anything because I can't see any evidence. It would be so much easier to just do it my way and manipulate the situation.

Doubt is actually a stronghold along with worry, fear, unforgiveness, low self-esteem, pride, cynicism, and the list could go on. I like what Priscilla Shirer says about strongholds in her book, Discerning the Voice of God. "These run counter to God's Truth and manifest themselves in our actions. This is an area where the Enemy loves to work! These strongholds are like cancers in our soul." They can lead to physical addictions, unhealthy relationships, and other problems. But God's Truth (the Word) can demolish strongholds.

Not all doubts are bad. But, if doubts are keeping us from fulfilling God's purpose for our lives or we're not trusting God because of it, then we need to counter them with a healthy dose of Scripture. There's a quote from Jesus Calling that I've adopted in recent months...

Listen more to Me, and less to your doubts.

Call Me Thomas

You remember the disciple Thomas, right? He's the one who will be forever known as "Doubting Thomas." I'm guessing that he probably regretted those doubts and would cringe at the thought that his name is forever associated with doubt.

After Jesus' resurrection, the other disciples came running back to where they were all staying and excitedly proclaimed that they had seen the risen Lord. Thomas (he must be the pragmatic one) said he would not believe such a thing unless he could actually see the imprint of the nails in His hands or actually put his hand into Jesus' side. That was more than doubt he was expressing. He simply did not believe. In today's vernacular he might have said, You all are nuts. You're just overcome with grief and now you're seeing things. That might have been a fair assessment in a normal situation. But this was not a normal situation.

Eight days later Jesus actually appeared to His disciples to give them some final words. Thomas was there. Jesus knew about Thomas' doubts. In an act of kindness, Jesus offers Thomas the opportunity to put his hands into His side or to touch the nail-scarred hands.

Eight days later the disciples were together again, 
and this time Thomas was with them. 

The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, 

Jesus was standing among them.  

“Peace be with you,” he said.  Then he said to Thomas, 

“Put your finger here, and look at my hands. 

Put your hand into the wound in my side. 

Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!”

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed.

~John 20: 26-28

Jesus encourages Thomas to believe. Jesus knew Thomas very well and what it would take to convince him. Notice that the Scripture does not say that Thomas actually touched Jesus. Apparently just the sight of Jesus and perhaps the sound of His voice was enough to convince him of the truth. Thomas doubted no more.

Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. 

Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” 
~John 20: 29

Jesus doesn't berate Thomas for his doubts. He was very patient with Thomas and gave him some visual aid. John and Peter were the disciples who believed without seeing and Jesus said they were blessed because of that faith.

It's so easy to look at Thomas and dismiss him with a "tsk, tsk." Or, as they say in the south, "Bless His Heart."  But really, if you were in that situation, wouldn't you be skeptical?

Some events in my life during recent months have caused me to doubt--a lot. I doubted my thoughts. I doubted God. I doubted others. I doubted my feelings. If it could be doubted, I probably did it. I didn't really believe God had been directing my path and that's why everything was messed up. I must have gotten my signals crossed. Maybe I'd done something wrong? What happened, Lord?

Scripture helped but I still harbored doubts. I'm a visual learner. Show me how to do something, don't just tell me. The Lord knows this about me. In his kindness and mercy, He began to give me visual cues to show me He was listening, that He cared greatly, and that I had not "messed up." Everything was under His control and all part of His plan. Now each time the doubts begin to creep back into my thinking, God gives me a visual cue. In fact, it's the same cue every single time. It's a simple reminder of God's faithfulness and tender mercy. Although I cannot touch His nail-scarred hand, God gives me something very unique to see which reminds me of Him. Sometimes it brings a tear to my eye and other times it makes me giggle. (No, I'm not telling what it is.)

Yes, I would be more blessed if I could believe without seeing. But God created me this way and He takes that into account. Maybe one day I'll be a Peter or John and believe without seeing. But for now...

Call me Thomas. 

I'm still blessed.