Expectations vs. Reality

"I've done everything you've asked. So you can give me what I want now."

Have you ever said anything like that to God? My guess is probably not in so many words. Naturally, we know better than to be demanding in that way. Right? (You're nodding your head right now, I hope.) But, maybe we secretly do expect God to respond that way.


This past weekend I watched a livestream of a singles conference from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. They had several good speakers, but one in particular said some things that resonated with me. She talked about life plans. As a young adult, she'd mapped out her life, but it seems as if her expectations did not meet her reality. She was still single when she'd planned to be married with children by now.

Imagine these scenarios:

• You studied for a career, but ended up in a different profession. 
• You had intentions of moving to a particular house/neighborhood/city, but ended up in your 3rd or 4th choice.
• You were sure you would be married by a certain age, but find yourself still single.
• You would have 2 or 3 children by the age of 35, but your house is still empty.
• You planned to travel abroad or be a missionary, but somewhere along the way those dreams are still unfulfilled.

You get the picture. If you haven't imagined your own scenario by now, take a few minutes to think about it. We all have these great plans, but sometimes life doesn't align itself to match our plans. Sometimes these plans are really good things, yet hopes and desires remain unfulfilled.

The thing that really struck a chord with me was when the speaker talked about bargaining with God. It's easy to fall into this perception that if I'm doing all the right things--pursuing God, putting God first, reading my Bible regularly, praying--that it's a given that these expectations would be finally be fulfilled. You know, Do this + this = That. That's the way life works. We have a sense of entitlement after we've done "all the right things" so we think to ourselves, surely now that I've done these things, God will finally give me my heart's desires.

Another week goes by...
           Another month goes by...
                      Another year goes by...

and that desire still hasn't been fulfilled. Then what? We start to question God. We start to question ourselves. We compare our lives to others. We may even try to manipulate circumstances, make changes, or simply take over and do it ourselves.

The speaker shared this quote from John Newton:

"Everything is necessary that God sends our way.

Nothing can be necessary that He withholds."

This quote is profound, yet makes me uncomfortable. These things that I find "necessary" may not be necessary in God's design. I'm still processing that thought. But what all of this reminds me of is a simple Bible verse that God continues to put in my path, and has done so quite a lot lately.

For I know
the plans
that I have for you.
They are plans for good
and not for disaster
to give you a future 
and a hope. - Jer. 29:11


(I broke up the verse this way to cause the reader to stop and consider each of these phrases. I recommend reading it several times this way.)

Most of the time I've stopped reading right there at the end of verse 11. But last week Im my devotional reading the next two verses were tacked onto this. They really stood out to me:

In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jer. 29:12-13



Yes, God has plans for me. He knows the plans and they are good plans. He knows exactly when to unfold these plans for me. In the meantime, I need to keep working on really knowing the One who is in charge of those plans, praying to Him. God is listening even when it seems He isn't. I just need to keep looking to Him. It's there that I will find my Hope. My hope is not in the outcome, it's in the One who is in charge of the outcome.

Linking up with TheBarnPrincess.com:

God Does Not Change

Where does the time go? This maze we traverse called life literally seems to move at warp speed and it is always in constant flux.

Glacier National Park courtesy morguefile.com

I have a full-time day job (which is why I don't post here on a consistent basis) that keeps me quite busy. I'm meeting new people all the time. People I was just starting to know have moved on.

Rules and regulations seems to be constantly changing. The price of gas is constantly changing. Up one week and down the next.

Weather seems to be more extreme each year. Weeks of no rain produce drought.  Then days of rain produce flooding. Temperatures are record-breaking high one week and the following week they're below average for this time of year.

It's all a bit crazy. I cannot count on anything in this world to stay the same. But, I try to remember the things I can count on not changing.

God does not change.

“I am the Lord, and I do not change." ~ Malachi 3:6a

"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from

God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.

He never changes or casts a shifting shadow." ~ James 1:17

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, 

today, and forever" ~ Hebrews 13:8

 

God's love for me does not change and He is faithful to keep his promises. When the world is constantly changing, I can go to the Word and read these promises knowing He will be faithful to keep these promises.

I will close with a few of these promises.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, 

for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; 

not as the world gives do I give to you. 

Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
John 14:27

Contentment: Not Just for Cows

There's an old adage which says that contented cows give better milk. Great. Let the cows be content. It seems all they do is stand around, chew on grass, and wait for someone to come milk them. Why wouldn't they be content? Cows don't have to worry about jobs, their health, finances, relationships, housework, their appearance.

It's not easy to be content with life when I'm juggling all kinds of worries and comparing my life to someone else's.

Moo!

But...

Wouldn't you know it. God has a way of pointing out these little issues in our lives. My guess is that if I asked for a show of hands right now, nearly everyone could raise their hand in affirmation that they deal with some sort of discontent in his or her life. I know that's been true for me. If you don't deal with this issue at all, do tell. What's your secret?!


I've been trying to write this post for weeks. I started doing a word study and research, then set it aside. I'd think about it again, but kept putting it off. Then I finally started to work seriously on this post but the writing process came to another screeching halt. It's like I kept hitting a brick wall. So, for some reason this post has been incredibly difficult to write and I don't know why.

This issue all started a few months ago after speaking with a friend about contentment. I confessed that I was struggling with contentment in the area of my singleness. I've been dealing with it my entire life. I've become used to it. For the most part I've been content with my single life. Then my life was turned upside down and... BAM!

So I started wrestling with this issue in recent months. I think I am now in a much better place of contentment. That place is...

• recognizing God's authority in my life (even my love life),
• understanding His sovereignty,
• giving Him control,
• realizing that God loves me so very much that He really does want the absolute best for me,
• and knowing I need to wait for His timing and His best.

For me this discontentment started because of my wrestling. Once I stopped wrestling and put my trust in God, contentment started creeping back into my life.

One Scripture which is very familiar is that of Paul's profession of contentment in the book of Philippians:

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content  
with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing
or with everything. I have learned the secret of living
in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty,
with plenty or little. For I can do everything through 
Christ, who gives me strength." ~ Philippians 4:11-13

I love the following quote which seems to sum up the whole issue of contentment for me:

"Paul’s relationship with God superseded 

whatever he did or did not have. 

His contentment was not based on his circumstances, 

but on his relationship with Christ." 

~ Albert Lee in Our Daily Bread

Mr. Lee also reminds us that contentment is a learned behavior which does not happen overnight.

The strength it takes to be content does not come from our sheer willpower, but Christ provides what we need to persevere.

So, if contented cows give better milk, then do contented Christians produce better "fruit?" I would say that is probably true. 

Yet true godliness with contentment 

is itself great wealth. ~ 1 Timothy 6:6

Patience: I Want it Now!

The past week or so I've been studying the topic of patience in preparation for a group Bible study meeting. As usual, God has impeccable timing. For the past few months the Lord has placed many Bible verses about patience in front of me such as:

So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. 

Remember the great reward it brings you! 

Patient endurance is what you need now, 

so that you will continue to do God’s will. 

Then you will receive all that he has promised. 

~ Hebrews 10:35-36

When my patient endurance began to wear thin and gradually turned into child-like impatience, God decided to get me into a word study about patience. It's probably the equivalent of writing on the blackboard 100 times that I will not chew gum in class! So, rather than enjoy this word study all by myself, I thought I'd share it with you.

Here's a definition from a secular online dictionary...

patience [ˈpeɪʃəns] n

1. tolerant and even-tempered perseverance

2. the capacity for calmly enduring pain, trying situations, etc.

[via Old French from Latin patientia endurance, from patī to suffer]

From thefreedictionary.com.

I like these definitions: 

1. The ability to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance, diligence. 
2. Accepting the imperfections of others.
3. True patience is anchored in hope.
4. An eager desire for relief or change; intolerant of anything that delays.
5. Impatience is the chief trait of self-centeredness (immaturity).

What does the Bible say about patience?

• In the Old Testament scriptures, patience is often defined as longsuffering or slow to anger. 
• In the New Testament the terms endurance and waiting are often used with patience. 
• Longsuffering is generally used in association with people. 
• The terms patient endurance or waiting are usually associated with our circumstances. 
• The opposite of patience (impatience) in the Old Testament is usually referred by the word weary (Isaiah 7:13). I found that definition very intriguing. When I feel impatient, weariness is not the first thing I think of but the mind and soul does become weary.
• Mercy, gentleness, and humility are often closely tied with patience in the Bible.
• Just a few of the rewards of patience: You earn respect (Proverbs 19:11); Doubly blessed (Job 42:10); God is pleased (1 Peter 2:20); Others will speak well of us (2 Thess. 1:4); We will be complete (James 1:4); Hope and encouragement (Romans 15:4). Patience is a fruit of the Spirit!

I'll leave the rest of the word study up to you. Hey, I can't do all the work!


So, what have I learned about patience?

• I get impatient with people sometimes, but I usually become more impatient with my circumstances.
• It grows my faith beyond its current level (maturity) and absolutely requires me to trust God with my circumstances.
• Building patience doesn't happen overnight and I falter a lot. 
• At times I'm much more immature than I believed myself to be.
• There is true peace that occurs in my life when a measure of patience is achieved. That peace only comes through trusting God.

And the consequences of impatience? 

• pain and suffering
• broken dreams
• troubled relationships
• compromised integrity
• God's displeasure
• untimely death

Wow. I don't like this list at all and this list is not exhaustive! The next time I begin to feel impatience coming on, I need to read this list.

I found this word study quite interesting. Some of this information I found in a free PDF booklet online: Discovery Series about patience.

The Waiting Game

Have you ever played the "waiting game?" Probably a silly question since we spend our entire lives waiting. When we're children, we wait for our birthdays, Christmas, summer vacation. We pestered our parents with that age-old question, "Are we there yet?"

Then as adults we wait for that first job offer, we wait in grocery lines, we wait at the traffic light. I could go on and on. It seems we spend our whole life waiting on something or someone. We get impatient waiting for that light to turn green or for the microwave to ding. I can't imagine a life without a microwave, yet I did live in a time without a microwave and I managed just fine. It seems our society has groomed us to expect everything to happen quickly.

God doesn't work the way the world does. He took seven days to create the world. That seems pretty quick to me since it takes the government two years to finish a short interstate construction project. Nevertheless, God could have created the entire world in an instant if He wanted to. Perhaps there is something to be learned from that? Time means nothing to God. He sees time in a completely different way than we do. We see it in our clocks and calendars. But He knows that we have that limitation to understand time. Maybe that's why God paced himself by creating the earth in the span of seven days. Perhaps He was giving us an example.

When I first started this blog, I wrote an article about God's Timing. Waiting on God can be difficult. I wrote another article about the Circumstances of Life in which I briefly touched on this topic of waiting. I've come to learn that waiting is a trust issue where God is concerned. My life is currently in a "holding pattern" as I wait on God to give direction in certain areas of my life. But, I continue with life in the present and the plans that are close to His heart.

Someone recently pointed out that you can have Head Trust or Heart Trust in God. Head Trust is impatient, will manipulate circumstances and run ahead of God. Heart Trust is more relaxed. It's like that trust-fall game where someone stands behind you, promising to catch you as you blindly fall backward into his arms. That is Heart Trust. I don't know about you, but that kind of trust does not come easy. But God promises to ALWAYS be there ready to catch me. I have to be willing to let Him catch me.

A Psalm that has been close to my heart for the past ten years is in Psalm 62:1-2.

My soul waits in silence for God only; 

From Him is my salvation.

He only is my rock and my salvation,

My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.

I heard a sermon almost ten years ago by Charles Stanley on this passage. He described the first half of verse one as follows:


Waits = stillness; silently; quiet trust; But it's also active as we wait expectantly.


Silently = quietly, still, not murmuring or complaining or questioning God constantly


For God only = my eyes are on God, waiting for HIM to act, not waiting for someone else to do something.


Sometimes the reasons God is letting us wait may be because...


...we are not ready (God is still working on us).


...if our desire involves others, they aren't ready and God still has to change their mind.


...God is waiting for our focus to be on Him and not on that "thing" we desire.

Sometimes We Just Need a Lap to Sit On

This is my sweet cat, Bandit.

My cat is not a typical cat. Most cats are very independent and only interact with people on their terms. Bandit is what my friend refers to as a Dog-Cat. He's fairly dependent on me. He loves to sit on my lap. He will even come when I call him--most of the time. He will sometimes play fetch.

However, Bandit does have this one quirk. There are times when he will come near me and look longingly, searching for an opportunity to sit on my lap. My lap may already have a book, magazine, or computer in it. Or I might not be sitting "just the right way" so that he has room to jump up. So he sits there and looks at me. I catch his eye and invite him to come. Sometimes he will come. Still other times Bandit will just continue to sit there waiting for me to do something. I then put down my other distractions and reach for him. I want to pick him up and put him on my lap. I want him to know that he's welcome. As soon as I reach for him, he begins to struggle and back away. I get frustrated because I know what he wants. Sometimes I will just let him go and do his own thing. Once in a while I will hold onto him through the struggle and gently put him on my lap, soothing him with my voice. He immediately relaxes on my lap and enjoys what he has really been wanting and needing. He is content now.

This very scene happened to me this morning. As it was happening, it occurred to me how similar this scenario is between God and His people. We want God to do something, to intervene on our behalf. We want to be safe in His arms. Yet, when God does intervene, we begin to struggle against Him. It may be we struggle because we don't recognize that it's God's hand picking us up. For whatever reason we struggle, God may allow us the freedom to continue in the present place, leaving us there. Or, He may hang in there and pull us up into His arms, knowing that is what we need and what's best for us at the moment.

When we are asking God for something, we need to also pay attention to what's going on around us. We need to recognize that God may be answering our prayer in the midst of that struggle. The answer to our prayer may not look exactly like we'd imagined so it may not seem like an answer to prayer at that very moment. But, if we stop struggling long enough to ask God about it, we may find our answer.

Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’?

It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. 

Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.

The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? 

Tell the Israelites to move on.   

Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water

so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground.

~Exodus 14:12-16

The Israelites felt that struggle too. They asked for deliverance. Then when times got tough, they struggled against the very hand that was trying to deliver them. The Lord told them to BE STILL. The Lord was planning to fight for them. The Lord made a path for them when their backs were against the proverbial wall, right through the Red Sea.

 

Nuggets of Wisdom

Here are a few of the great bits of wisdom I have come across (and learned) this week:

• "...faith is rarely grown with anything other than overwhelming circumstances... If you are walking in faith, God has ordered your steps--He has put you where you are. He has a good reason for it...you are being tested." ~ Waiting On God by Cherie Hill
• While God is predictable in His character, He is unpredictable in His activity. God likes to shake up our neat and orderly lives once in a while. It wakes us up from our spiritual lethargy. At that point, we have a choice to make: retreat into our comfort zones or step out in faith and trust God. ~ paraphrased from One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer.
• We tend to beat up on the Israelites who wandered through the wilderness for 40 years on their way to the Promised Land. They witness true miracles--parting of the Red Sea, manna from heaven, etc. Then the next moment they are complaining and discontent with their circumstances. But, I've found myself in that very situation recently. Present circumstances are uncomfortable, stretching my faith farther than I like. My head knows I need to trust God and I've seen Him perform some great things, but I'm still squirming in my seat. Hmmm. Discontentment. Complaining because the "heat's just a little too much." Maybe I'm not much different than those Israelites after all. 

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

~ Hebrews 11:1

 

...because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 

~ James 1:3

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know 

that suffering produces perseverance... ~ Romans 5:3

We are the Clay

Thought I'd share just a little something God showed me this week.

But now, O LORD, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hand. -- Isaiah 64:8 (NASB)

 “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand. -- Jeremiah 18:6 (NLT)

“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.
    Does a clay pot argue with its maker?
Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying,
    ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’
Does the pot exclaim,
    ‘How clumsy can you be?’
How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father,
    ‘Why was I born?’
or if it said to its mother,
    ‘Why did you make me this way?’”

This is what the Lord says—
    the Holy One of Israel and your Creator:
“Do you question what I do for my children?
    Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?
I am the one who made the earth
    and created people to live on it.
With my hands I stretched out the heavens.
    All the stars are at my command. -- Isaiah 45:9-12  (NLT)

When a potter begins to make his creation, he already has something in mind with an eye on the end result.  He works carefully and methodically to shape the clay.  Sometimes the clay conforms readily into that new shape.  Other times, the shaping process may cause the clay to bend at which point the potter will begin the process again.  The clay may bend but the potter doesn't give up.

God is the Potter.  I am the clay.  It's God's responsibility to shape me into the vessel He has in mind.  It's not my responsibility.  I only need to be willing and pliable, resting in the Potter's hands.

Imagine the clay deciding for itself that it should become a plate when the Potter already decided the clay should become a beautiful vase.  Seems absurd to think that, but how many times do we try to make these decisions for ourselves? 

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. -- Philippians 1:6 (NLT)