Birthday Thoughts

Tomorrow is my birthday. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. There's nothing particularly significant about this new number, but it's those in-between numbers that seem to hit me harder than the ones ending in zero, five, or nine.

This morning I was thinking that tomorrow my age number changes. The fact of the matter is that I am one day older each day that I wake up. It just so happens that when the day of my birth rolls around I'm "suddenly" one year older. I had to ponder that one a moment. Just because the calendar says I'm one year older does not mean that I suddenly aged one year. No, it happens gradually over the course of a year and there's nothing I can do about that. God created time to move forward.

Hmmmmm. As much as I'd like to stop time and stay at one particular age I cannot.

Another thing I've been mulling over is birthday celebrations. Because my birthday falls in the middle of vacation season I've learned to adapt to whatever is happening around me. As a kid my birthday was always celebrated with family and usually with little fanfare. My mother's birthday is the day after mine so there was usually the shared cake and party.

Those of you with summer birthdays may also understand the angst of not being able to celebrate a birthday at school. I don't know if kids celebrate birthdays at school these days what with all the restrictions and food allergies. In my day, mothers used to bring cupcakes and those cute little ice cream cups with wooden spoons to school on the day of their child's birthday. Everyone enjoyed the treats and the birthday child enjoyed the special attention. In most classes there was usually a handful of us with summer birthdays who weren't able to participate in that fun. I suspect the mothers appreciated not having to worry about it, though.

Over the years I've had many different kinds of birthday celebrations. I've had quiet ones and loud ones. Small ones and large ones. Celebrations with friends. Celebrations with family. Celebrations with coworkers. Parties with karaoke. Parties with bowling. Parties with orange-colored foods. Parties with cake and ice cream. Parties with Italian or Mexican food. Each party has been unique and memorable. And the best birthdays were not because I was the center of attention. (Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not one who seeks to be the center of attention.) No, the most memorable birthdays have been because people chose to share their time with me. We weren't thinking about the age (well, sometimes we did), but we were simply enjoying each others' company and celebrating the connection we have.

I heard a song on the radio yesterday called 39 and Holding by Jerry Lee Lewis. Since I was thinking about my upcoming birthday, I listened with interest. The song is about a man who is trying to hide his age. He's out late every night trying to keep up with the younger crowd, but he doesn't quite fit in. He's still doing the same moves that he did when he was 30 years younger and he's doing everything he can to prove that he's still a man--not an old man. The truth is that he isn't fooling anybody but himself. I think we've all known people like that. Uh-huh..... LOL. For the record, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to look younger or doing some things that younger people do. But, birthdays are one of those times to write yourself a reality check.

The days leading up to this birthday have been a time of reflection for me. I've thought about the birthdays I've celebrated most recently. All were unique and memorable in their own way. This birthday has also been unique, but not because I have big plans. I don't even know how I will celebrate this birthday yet! I do know that however I celebrate the day that I have a God who loves me more than I will ever understand this side of heaven. I have been blessed with family and friends who love me. And if I ever start looking like an old woman with young hair and clothes.... PLEASE STOP ME!! Hahaha.

Love you all.

What Are You Waiting For?

It's been quite a while since I've updated this blog. It's been a busy season and it has been challenging to stay focused on any one particular task. So, I do just what I must do to keep going and let extra things like reading for pleasure or writing fall by the wayside. I often use quiet moments in the car or early mornings to think about things, though.

I was reminded this morning about the subject of waiting on God. The song by John Waller called While I'm Waiting from the movie Fireproof came to mind. A few years ago that song and the movie helped me to turn my focus back to waiting quietly on God and to keep moving forward, trusting God to work out his plans for my life (Jer. 29:11). As I reflected on these things, I went back to read a blog post that I first shared three years ago. I think this one is a timeless message worth a repeat. Enjoy!

The Waiting Game

Have you ever played the "waiting game?" Probably a silly question since we spend our entire lives waiting. When we're children, we wait for our birthdays, Christmas, summer vacation. We pestered our parents with that age-old question, "Are we there yet?"

Then as adults we wait for that first job offer, we wait in grocery lines, we wait at the traffic light. I could go on and on. It seems we spend our whole life waiting on something or someone. We get impatient waiting for that light to turn green or for the microwave to ding. I can't imagine a life without a microwave, yet I did live in a time without a microwave and I managed just fine. It seems our society has groomed us to expect everything to happen quickly.

God doesn't work the way the world does. He took seven days to create the world. That seems pretty quick to me since it takes the government two years to finish a short interstate construction project. Nevertheless, God could have created the entire world in an instant if He wanted to. Perhaps there is something to be learned from that? Time means nothing to God. He sees time in a completely different way than we do. We see it in our clocks and calendars. But He knows that we have that limitation to understand time. Maybe that's why God paced himself by creating the earth in the span of seven days. Perhaps He was giving us an example. . . .  Click HERE to read the rest of this blog post.

Is it Complaining?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Recent internet posts and conversations have me thinking lately about complaints. A few months ago I was challenged by one post to not complain and to look for the positive in situations and build up others. Great idea! There's so much negativity in the world already, so trying to find the positive in a situation makes sense.

But real life happens and in the course of conversations, someone asks how you are and rather than giving the usual response of, "I'm fine," you share your concerns with someone close to you. Is that considered complaining? 

I've heard it labeled as complaining by some. Others would say no, because they did genuinely want to know and are concerned for your well-being. So which is it?

Someone I know is going through a very difficult time of life. As she relates what's happening in her world she downplays the real story. I don't know the reason why. Maybe she is sparing some of the details. Maybe she doesn't want to worry others. Or maybe she doesn't want to come across as complaining. I honestly don't know. 

As I was pondering these scenarios, I wondered what the difference was between complaining and relating facts about life. The conclusion I came to was it's all about what's in the heart.

For example, I may relate details of a challenging day to a friend in order to share life and to give them a context in which to pray for me, possibly offer help, or give advice. If my motivation for relating these details is to simply relate to those who care about me, it's not complaining--in my opinion. 

Should I be offended or feel uncomfortable if someone close to me wants to tell me about her challenging events of the day? I don't believe so if we have a relationship that lends itself to that sort of conversation and especially if I ask how it's going. Granted, some people politely ask how it's going with no intention of hearing the truth.You can usually tell when someone isn't interested in hearing details and it's best to just move on.
  
By contrast, if I withhold the challenging details of my day from a close friend or a loved one simply because I don't want to appear to be discontent or complaining, how is that benefiting either of us?

I do feel as if there is a fine line between complaining and telling others what's going on in my life. I guess finding that balance is crucial. I should ask myself questions before I speak such as...

      Why do I want to tell this person about my problems? 
     Am I trying to manipulate them into helping me?  
     Do I want to deepen our relationship by sharing my burdens and sincerely 
             look for help or support? 
     If I do need help, why don't I just come right out and ask for help rather 
             than manipulate or guilt others into helping? 


I think the key is often in the relationship and knowing who your audience is. I think our culture--our beliefs, customs, way of life, the people we live around--forms how we handle these types of situations. I grew up in a more superficial culture where people just didn't talk about their feelings and for the most part acted as if everything was fine. After moving away from that culture and into a different one, I've learned that not everyone is that way. I have learned that when one of my friends ask how I'm doing, they truly want to know--every detail, everything good or bad.

I guess my main point in all of this is that we need to be careful not to assume the worst of others when someone shares a concern or a burden. What may seem like a complaint on the surface may simply be someone needing to be heard. If the person speaking is close to you, you should know what's going on in their life so that you can pray for them and offer help, when appropriate. If you are close enough to them, hopefully you know whether their heart and whether what they offer are complaints or concerns. 

And, of course, we should also weigh our words carefully before speaking and ask those questions of ourselves: Is what I'm going to say building up or tearing down? What is my motivation for sharing? 

So what do you think about this topic? I'm curious to know...

 

Life Has No Movie Soundtrack

The scenario: Someone is on a stroll through the woods. The scenery is beautiful, in the background you can hear the padding of footsteps in the quiet peacefulness. Slowly the background music creeps into the scene signaling something is about to change. Suddenly the eerie sounds of music grows louder and a stranger runs onto the path. For those of us watching the movie, we anticipated something was coming because the music in the background prepared us for it. If only life was like that. The problem is. . .

Life has no movie soundtrack!

If life was more like a movie, we would know that something was going to happen because of the music or sounds playing in the background. For example, you are sitting in a restaurant having a quiet dinner and some comedic music begins to play nearby. You feel rather lighthearted for some reason and a moment later the waiter drops an entire tray on the floor. Ripples of quiet laughter erupt in the restaurant.

Or let's use that same setting and play the sounds of the dun-Dun-DUN near the handsome couple having dinner together. A sense of dread comes over the restaurant and everyone braces for what happens next: The woman tells her significant other that she wants to break up. She stands up and throws a ring in his lap while he sits with mouth agape. Cue the sad violin music.

You get the picture. Movies or television programs give us hints about what's going to happen by the music and sounds being played. This music actually manipulates us into feeling a certain way to help propel the storyline.

Real life is so much different. You suddenly find out someone wants to have a discussion with no clue about what's going to be discussed. Since the meeting was not planned, you immediately begin to anticipate the worst and pour over anything that could be wrong. It's so easy to imagine the worst rather than the best. If only there was a movie soundtrack to give you a clue!

I don't have any great revelations to share about this. It's really just a thought that occurred to me recently as I have watched life unfold all around me. Surprises--good and bad--come with nary a clue and definitely no soundtrack hints. Sometimes the blessing is in the surprise otherwise knowing the future would not be good.

I guess as believers in Jesus the best thing to do is to be prepared by staying close to God because nothing surprises Him. We have to keep our eyes on Him. He knows what is coming long before I do and the the Bible is full of examples like: Joseph, Sarah, Job, David, Peter, John, and Paul. Hebrews 11 is a list of people who trusted God when they weren't sure what was going on and God honored that faith.

I may not know what's going to happen in the next minute, the next hour, the next month, or the next year. However, I do know the Lord promises to be with me no matter what--even without the background music!

I know the Lord is always with me.    I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. - Psalm 16:8