Faith seems to be the theme running through my life during the past few weeks. I've been learning about what simple faith means from a variety of sources. And even in the midst of the academic portion of learning, I'm receiving some hands-on training. It's pretty much like God is saying, "You've got the facts now so let's give this puppy a test drive!"
Consequently, I haven't been blogging lately because of these tests of faith. Processing through these events have taken a lot of my mental energy. I've also been using more of my free time to pour into a lovely group of single women. In return, they have been pouring back into my life. What a blessing! I'll put in a quick plug for the (in)courage community groups. If you aren't part of one, you really should join!
So I have been pondering some things in my heart much like Mary did after she observed the reaction of the shepherds and heard what the angel said to them following the birth of Jesus. She was quite amazed to hear what these people had to say about her son and wanted to preserve these things in her mind.
The things I'm pondering are not nearly as great. But, as I grapple with this issue of simple faith and apply what I'm learning to present circumstances, it does leave me to wonder at times what is happening.
I think testing is probably an accurate way to describe what's going on. I've written about testing in previous blog posts, but I have a new level of appreciation for it now.
You see, I've been sincerely praying for answers to several issues close to my heart. It seems that those issues which are most important to me--translated as I've been praying extra hard--have actually gotten worse. So the more I prayed about them, extended my faith, and trusted God with the outcome, it seems the farther away from an answer I've gotten.
I think it's no coincidence that the more I dig in and trust God, the harder it's gotten. Satan wants me to become discouraged and give up on God, to think He's not listening. But, as a spiritual mentor of mine pointed out recently...
Faith takes possession
by anticipation of
I am believing God will provide an answer. When? How? I don't know. It's His agenda and not mine. I have to be okay with the sovereignty of God. But I will keep praying.