Changes for Better or for Worse

There are many quotes about change. Just Google the words Quotes about Change and you'll find plenty of sources. Change is something that affects every single person--whether we like it or not.

In the months since I last updated this blog, I've seen many changes. My country elected a new president and has sworn him into office. Babies have been born and some people have died. Job changes have been made--some voluntary and some not.

I have experienced many of my own changes. I got married. I moved. I sold a house. Now we're in the process of buying another house and will move again. Those are just the highlights of the past few months. Of course, there are many under-the-radar changes that occur to me/us all the time. We age a little every day so our hair and skin begin to change. Our thoughts and beliefs begin to change as we age. Our weight changes daily--sometimes for the better and sometimes not. I could go on and on.

How do we manage with all these changes? I suppose we all have a different tolerance level for change. It may also depend on what sort of changes are occurring to us, too. Good changes are easier to handle than sudden changes such as illness or job loss. Our maturity levels also contribute to how well we handle changes. As far as politics go, I've seen some people handle the changes well and others [ahem] not handle it well AT ALL.

I must confess that having gone through many of my own changes in the past few months it has certainly showed me how mature I am. Although I've handled most of it well, there have been those inevitable times that I did not. When I was weary of the many changes, when I was overly tired, and maybe just a big "hangry" [hungry & angry is not a good combination], my maturity level degraded to that of a stubborn 3-year old. Those were the times I simply wanted to build a blanket fort in my living room, crawl under it, drink chocolate milk, and hide for a while.

I don't really have any huge spiritual insights to add to this post. Typically, that's what my purpose of writing on this blog is about. But, as the title of my blog implies, this is the Maze of My Life right now. I enjoy writing and really want to get back into the habit of doing so. Although, as busy as my schedule has been and may continue to be for a while, it's not likely I'll get back into a regular writing routine anytime soon.

The only thing I do know is that God never changes. He will always love me--even when I act like a stubborn 3-year old. When everything around me is quickly changing, I can always look to Him and trust that God is always there.

Oh, and a patient husband is a huge blessing!!

In Him,

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Jimmy Dean
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jimmydean131287.html

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Jimmy Dean
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jimmydean131287.html

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Jimmy Dean
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jimmydean131287.html

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Jimmy Dean
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jimmydean131287.html

We love because He first loved us.

This Bible verse has come to my attention three times in a 24-hour period this week. Each time from a different source. After the third time seeing this verse I sat at attention. Is there some reason you want me to pay close attention to this verse, Lord?

We love because he first loved us. 

1 John 4:19

I thought about it for a bit and then forged ahead with my day. The clock was ticking and I had to keep moving. For the most part I pushed those early morning thoughts aside, but it was still there in the back of my mind.

As the day moved on, challenges came to the forefront. The challenges included individuals testing my patience, deadlines, and unexpected traffic delays. On the flip side were sweet times with thoughtful an supportive friends, laughter and silliness, and a simple, sweet text from my boyfriend letting me know he was thinking of me.

It's easy to be loving with the latter scenario. It's not so easy to be loving with the former scenario. Now that I've had time to think about these verses popping up everywhere, perhaps it was a reminder that I cannot be loving without Christ's love inside me. God is love and Christ is the product of that love. Without Christ in my life it's a constant struggle to love and to respond in a loving manner during difficult times. Oh, I'm not always successful in my responses. Sometimes I respond in unloving ways. It happens. [shrug]

I haven't been writing on this blog as regularly as I used to. This morning I saw a message on Facebook that reminded me that I have a story to tell. All of us do and we should share it in whatever platform given to us. My platform happens to be this blog which I started over four years ago during a time of struggle and testing. Blogging helped me and encouraged others while carrying out the message Paul taught in 2 Corinthians chapter 1.

I remember about the time I first began blogging here, God showed me that I cannot truly love a man without first understanding His love for me. It was a profound moment for me to learn that tidbit of truth. Since that time God has been teaching me how much He loves me. Earlier this year, several months after meeting my boyfriend, I had an epiphany. As much as my boyfriend loved me--and that's a whole lot--God loved me even more. Wow! My eyes filled with tears as I realized the magnitude of what that looked like. I had a human demonstration of unconditional love and finally understood how much God's love transcends all of that.

Over my lifetime I have had many demonstrations of love to show me this connection, but I didn't really get it until now. Better late, than never. God used this man in my life to teach me and to bless me. I am so very grateful. 

I was reading a devotional yesterday about the disciple John. It said that as John grew older, his writing become more and more focused on one subject: LOVE. The legend says that one of John's younger followers asked him why he focused so much on this topic and John's response was, "Because there isn't anything else." 

Love is the answer. We get so hung up on who's right and who's wrong, what she did and what he didn't do, and so on. Jesus calls us to keep loving--even when it's hard!

I'll sign off with John's words from 1 John 4: 11-21.

¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 

¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another,

God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 

 ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.

  ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 

¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  

¹⁷  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence

 on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love. 

But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. 

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.²⁰ Whoever claims to love God 

yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, 

whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 

²¹ And he has given us this command: 

Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

 

 

 

Life is Messy

Life is messy. There. I said it.

I bet you're reading this and nodding your head. If not, you are young enough to have not experienced enough of that mess that comes with life. Enjoy this time. I'm serious! Enjoy it!

Most of the messy stuff comes from relationships with others.
     Unmet expectations.
        Disappointments.
          Betrayal.
            Miscommunication.
All of these things contribute to heartaches and that overwhelming feeling of . . .

Life is Messy!! Make it stop!!!

We only need to watch the evening news once to see the messy part of life in high definition, full color, and surround sound. There are plenty of reports of lying, cheating, stealing, murder, and the list goes on. Most of these acts are against another human. This brings to mind a B.J. Thomas song: Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song. Country music is full of lyrics about people doing wrong to others.

Yes, I'll say it again, most of the mess comes from relationships.Someone gets angry at a neighbor or spouse and acts upon their anger. Suddenly they have become the subject of a breaking news story. I'll bet in many cases those people would never have thought that would happen.

The truth is that we live in a fallen world. I know. That's Christianese that I'm speaking. So let me define that phrase for those who don't speak church language. A "fallen world" is the result of Adam's sin as recorded in the book of Genesis. Because of that first sin by Adam, we are all born with that nature to sin. And this sin nature continues to come out in each of us. [I don't want to turn this into a theology lesson so I'll stop here, but that isn't the end of the sin story. I suggest reading the book of John in the New Testament to find out about the remedy.]

Now that we've established that our sin nature is behind most of this messy life, what's next? Let me bring this back around to where I started. Relationships are often difficult. People disappoint me and I disappoint others. Relationship woes have been uppermost in my mind over the past few months. These woes have touched every aspect of my life from coworkers and neighbors to loved ones.

There are two things of which I've been reminded through all of this:

1. We are not battling people, we are battling an Enemy greater than that. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, "For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." To put all of this in perspective I must remember when someone I love hurts me, that there is this sin nature at work and Satan is always there ready to tempt me into retaliation. 
2. Retaliation feels good--for a moment. Ephesians 4:26 tells me, "And 'don’t sin by letting anger control you.' Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry." Why should we not let anger control us? Because, as verse 27 so aptly points out, "for anger gives a foothold to the devil." Yep. As soon as I let anger take over, Satan is right there ready to "help me." His kind of "help" may ease the sting temporarily, but nothing good comes from his "help."

Case in point, someone I love dearly did something so unexpected and hurtful to me. After the shock wore off I began mounting my defense. In my mind I began rehearsing what I would like to say and explain how hurtful those actions were to me. In the midst of my hurt I heard a still, small voice in my heart say, "Be angry and sin not." I realized at that moment that while I was planning my own defense I was about to unleash my anger and do something hurtful in return. Yes, it would have felt good at that moment, but only for a moment. Eventually I would have felt worse for inflicting pain. I don't say this to brag about self-control. I say this to confess my own sin nature. It's always lurking.

I was angry because I cared. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Think about it. If someone we don't know makes a flippant comment that makes us angry, we're more likely to shrug it off. When someone we love makes the same comment to us, we take that more seriously and are more likely to retaliate. It's those close relationships that we need to be more guarded about.

When those hurts come flying at us like arrows, the book of Ephesians reminds us that we should be wearing our breastplate of righteousness to defend against those arrows. In fact, we are to "Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil" (Eph. 6:11).

Whether we are dealing with a colleague at work who has it in for us or simply dealing with a loved one who has seriously disappointed us, those relationships have a way of provoking our peace. 

How did I handle the situation mentioned previously? I prayed about it and the Lord showed me that I had already explained my side of the story, in detail, prior to this distress. For now, I should remain silent. If there's any vindication, the Lord will handle it. In my situation I am able to put space between me and this person, but if you are unable to distance yourself from the one who offended you, I urge you to seek God's help and direction on how to handle the situation.


For His glory,

Yes, Adam’s one sin brings 

condemnation for everyone, 

but Christ’s one act of righteousness 

brings a right relationship 

with God and new life for everyone.

Romans 5:18

Perspective: Putting on New Glasses

I recently had an eye exam. I'm happy to report there was very little change in my vision for the last few years. I'm happy for one reason in particular--I don't have to spend any money on new glasses!


As we get older our vision will change more frequently. Regular exams can detect these changes and with those changes come those annoying expenses and question. Does anyone else get frustrated with the quick flip of the lenses and the repeated questions? "Which is better...This one or this one?" Sometimes there's a clear difference and other times I can't tell a difference at all! Often my eyes are still adjusting to the quick changes so I just have to take my time and hope the technician is patient.

Regular eye exams can also detect other potential problems in areas of the eye that we cannot see on the surface. It takes special tools and training to see these places in the back of the eye and to recognize the problem.

This all leads me to the topic of perspective. I wrote about Perspective a few years ago but it was in a different context. I was thinking about perspective again a few weeks ago, but I didn't have time to really delve into it. However, since that time I've done some thinking about it and discussed it with a friend. Here's the definition of the way I'm using it:

The origin of this word indicates that it actually means from the "science of optics" or "to look closely at."

When I put on my eyeglasses I can get a clearer view of what I'm looking at. Without the glasses, I can still see but my perspective is different. Things are a little fuzzy and it takes a little straining to see.

The same applies to our perspective on life. We all have these special glasses with which we view life. Our special glasses are formed from the time we are born and continually shaped by our environment. Our parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends all have a hand in shaping these glasses and give us a unique perspective on everything. Therefore, when we look at a particular issue it's always through the perspective of our own special glasses (experiences). In addition to people, our education and faith also help form these special glasses.

In this day and age in which we as a society seem to be offended about everything, it might help us to get an "eye exam" to correct or confirm our perspective. We should ask ourselves are few questions:

• What lens am I using to look at this particular problem? Am I looking at this problem through the eyes of my family or past experiences? Or am I looking at it through God's eyes? Sometimes I have to ask God to show me what's going on from His perspective. The Bible is one way to find out what He thinks.
• Should I take off this lens and put on another pair of eyeglasses? Maybe I need to see this situation through another person's lenses to understand or maybe I need a new prescription!
• Have I looked at this situation so long that I no longer clearly see what's happening? Have you ever driven the same route day after day and not noticed something? Then one day you're in the car while someone else is driving and you have more time to casually look around. Suddenly you notice a building you hadn't noticed before. Then you ask how long it's been there and find out it's been there for three years! Sometimes it takes stepping back from a situation to see what's right in front of us.

Just like my visits to the eye doctor can help detect potential changes or problems, I need to continue to examine my own perspectives on life. I can't always assume that my viewpoint is correct because that's the way I've always believed it to be. I need to be willing to humble myself and listen to other perspectives while always running those through Scripture to find out what God thinks. Sometimes I will find that it's time to put on some new glasses!

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!  

Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. 

Remember, the Lord is coming soon.  

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. 

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  

Then you will experience God’s peace, 

which exceeds anything we can understand. 

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. 

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, 

and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. 

Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  

Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—

everything you heard from me and saw me doing. 

Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:4-9

Faithfully yours,

 

Is it Complaining?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Recent internet posts and conversations have me thinking lately about complaints. A few months ago I was challenged by one post to not complain and to look for the positive in situations and build up others. Great idea! There's so much negativity in the world already, so trying to find the positive in a situation makes sense.

But real life happens and in the course of conversations, someone asks how you are and rather than giving the usual response of, "I'm fine," you share your concerns with someone close to you. Is that considered complaining? 

I've heard it labeled as complaining by some. Others would say no, because they did genuinely want to know and are concerned for your well-being. So which is it?

Someone I know is going through a very difficult time of life. As she relates what's happening in her world she downplays the real story. I don't know the reason why. Maybe she is sparing some of the details. Maybe she doesn't want to worry others. Or maybe she doesn't want to come across as complaining. I honestly don't know. 

As I was pondering these scenarios, I wondered what the difference was between complaining and relating facts about life. The conclusion I came to was it's all about what's in the heart.

For example, I may relate details of a challenging day to a friend in order to share life and to give them a context in which to pray for me, possibly offer help, or give advice. If my motivation for relating these details is to simply relate to those who care about me, it's not complaining--in my opinion. 

Should I be offended or feel uncomfortable if someone close to me wants to tell me about her challenging events of the day? I don't believe so if we have a relationship that lends itself to that sort of conversation and especially if I ask how it's going. Granted, some people politely ask how it's going with no intention of hearing the truth.You can usually tell when someone isn't interested in hearing details and it's best to just move on.
  
By contrast, if I withhold the challenging details of my day from a close friend or a loved one simply because I don't want to appear to be discontent or complaining, how is that benefiting either of us?

I do feel as if there is a fine line between complaining and telling others what's going on in my life. I guess finding that balance is crucial. I should ask myself questions before I speak such as...

      Why do I want to tell this person about my problems? 
     Am I trying to manipulate them into helping me?  
     Do I want to deepen our relationship by sharing my burdens and sincerely 
             look for help or support? 
     If I do need help, why don't I just come right out and ask for help rather 
             than manipulate or guilt others into helping? 


I think the key is often in the relationship and knowing who your audience is. I think our culture--our beliefs, customs, way of life, the people we live around--forms how we handle these types of situations. I grew up in a more superficial culture where people just didn't talk about their feelings and for the most part acted as if everything was fine. After moving away from that culture and into a different one, I've learned that not everyone is that way. I have learned that when one of my friends ask how I'm doing, they truly want to know--every detail, everything good or bad.

I guess my main point in all of this is that we need to be careful not to assume the worst of others when someone shares a concern or a burden. What may seem like a complaint on the surface may simply be someone needing to be heard. If the person speaking is close to you, you should know what's going on in their life so that you can pray for them and offer help, when appropriate. If you are close enough to them, hopefully you know whether their heart and whether what they offer are complaints or concerns. 

And, of course, we should also weigh our words carefully before speaking and ask those questions of ourselves: Is what I'm going to say building up or tearing down? What is my motivation for sharing? 

So what do you think about this topic? I'm curious to know...

 

What We See Outside Our Window

I woke up this morning and looked outside my window to discover what appeared to be a heavy layer of frost on my car. After seeing reports of snow in the area I soon realized what I thought was frost was actually a very thin layer of snow. I made an assumption without knowing the facts. I did not go out and touch the snow. I had not listened to a weather report. I took in the situation and made a snap decision.


A short time later I noticed someone on a community Facebook page was complaining about the current state of weather. The chief complaint was that schools should be closed because outside her house was snow and ice. This woman's perception of the situation was skewed because there was snow and ice outside her window so she made the assumption that it must be the same way all over town. I do not know whether she had access to a television or if she had gone outside to look around and further assess the situation before making her decision. Maybe she just wanted a reason to keep her child home from school!

These two events got me to thinking about perception and misunderstandings. I was thinking how easy it was to make an assumption based only on what I saw outside my own window. From my perspective there was no problem outside that couldn't be taken care of with an ice scraper or a good dose of sunshine. I went on with my morning without giving it another thought until I was enlightened. Meanwhile, a few people around town were having accidents because of icy roads and schools were closing in a nearby county.

The Facebook woman made the wrong assumption when she saw snow and ice outside her window. Perhaps from her perspective closing schools and businesses was the only way to keep everyone safe. What she did not know was that sunshine was already taking care of some of the roadways and in just another hour there would be no more snow outside her own window. Hmmmm . . . Perspective.

It's so easy to make wrong assumptions about something or someone based on what we see "outside our window." There are times when we will have only the facts in front of us in which to make a decision and we come to a conclusion based on those facts. Sometimes our instincts will be right and sometimes we will be wrong. More than likely we're not seeing everything and taking in the landscape beyond our front door.

I guess it's much worse to make the wrong assumptions when it comes to relationships with our family, our friends, our coworkers. These myopic views outside our windows can put a wedge between two people.

For example: I see a headline on the news about a celebrity and make an immediate assumption based on the snappy headline. The truth is that I don't know enough about the celebrity or his situation to form an opinion. Or, someone reads something I wrote and misunderstands my intention because they can't see the gleam in my eye and the curl of my lip as I type something that I thought might be funny. Instead, that person becomes offended because they assumed I meant harm.

I've just been thinking about these things and how easy it is to be wrong. It's okay to admit that we're wrong sometimes because we ALL do it. We all make mistakes. I make mistakes. We live in a fallen world full of sin and where an Enemy who is always finding ways to help us mess up our relationships with each other. I guess if there is any point to this post today it's to remind me and you that what we see "outside our window" may not be the whole story. Withhold judgment, if possible, until more facts can be obtained. Our heavenly Father extends grace and mercy to us, so maybe it's a good idea to extend grace and mercy to others--along with forgiveness. And above all, pray for wisdom and guard the tongue.

From Me to We

An interesting thing has happened in the last month. My vocabulary has slowly changed from saying I and Me to Us and We. I'm not sure exactly when that happened, but it evolved slowly.



After several decades of doing life solo...

   After years of waiting and wondering...

      After many years of praying and trusting...

God has allowed a very special man to come into my life. That's how my vocabulary changed from saying Me to We.

It's a rather unusual thing of which to take notice. Most people would probably never consider such a change as significant. However, when one [namely me] is used to always riding off in the sunset like the Lone Ranger ALL. THE. TIME. doing whatever I want to for years on end, it is a curious notion to stop and consider someone else.

On this blog which I have called The Maze of Our Lives, I have always tried to write about the things that I learn about life--the things God is teaching me. I've been rather quiet the past few months, though. Amazingly, I still have visitors stopping by this blog (thank you).

One of the reasons I have blogged less and less is that my life has been changing. Since May there has been planning a move for a family member, the actual moving/road trip, and part-time caring for a family member. That's in addition to a full-time job. And then there is this other new thing: dating.

Both of these circumstances have taught me things about relationships. Allowing people into our everyday lives can present challenges to the status quo. Each situation has taught me how to be patient and understanding. I have been learning to prioritize my time and consider others needs ahead of my own. Each situation has also enriched my life as I step out of the bubble I've lived in for so long.

Paul's words to the Philippians is quite fitting. He's reminding them to be more like Christ. Paul says in chapter 2, verses 3- 5...

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, 

but with humility of mind regard one another 

as more important than yourselves;  

do not merely look out for your own personal interests, 

but also for the interests of others.   

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."

Jesus surrendered his privileges in order to serve others. And the point of it all...

To shine brightly with the love of Christ so that others can see...

"...it is God who is at work in you, 

both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Phil 2:13).

I have been blessed by these changes and am grateful to have watched how God has worked out all the little details to make these things happen for His good pleasure. I hope through these changes that I can shine brightly for others to see Christ at work!

Pat Benatar Was Right

Yes, love IS a Battlefield. These are the first few lines from the song made famous by Pat Benatar...

"We are young, heartache to heartache we stand. 

No promises, no demands. Love Is A Battlefield."

If you're an 80's music buff, like me, you'll immediately recognize this song and recall the music video.

The music video for this song depicts the messy life of a teenager. It begins by demonstrating the volatile relationship with her parents and ends with the teen living a tough life on her own. But, in the very end she chooses to help others--to be the strong one--by leading them out of a bad situation.

It could happen like that in real life, but more than likely your life will be a little less dramatic. Mine is certainly less dramatic. However, when it comes to relationships, it seems there is always some sort of drama involved.

Loving others may involve stepping in a minefield (hurt feelings) or some verbal sparring (think flaming arrows from the tongue). There may even be an occasional sneak attack (I didn't see that coming!) or confrontational in-your-face attacks (finger pointing or accusations). Then there are the responses from the previously wounded soldier who is heavily armored and fearful (I've already been hurt) and those somewhere in the middle running interference (can't we just all get along??). It's my guess that every family get-together includes one or more of the above scenarios.

No matter how hard we try, relationships are often messy and it's not always easy to love others. It will be that way because we are imperfect, sinful people who are prone to be selfish. Me included! That self-interest causes us to turn inward and suddenly we're like a porcupine. The quills come out and hurt anybody who comes near.

Frankly, love isn't safe.

"Loving someone selflessly is often simple but rarely is it easy."  

~ Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages 

I've been mulling over these thoughts for a few weeks and it's been interesting to see how the Lord has placed biblical teaching about love and relationships in my path. Here are some things I've learned and they apply to any type of relationship:

Feelings come and go and are very unpredictable. We can't always trust our feelings when it comes to love.

Our emotions and circumstances can influence how we love others. But, if we decide ahead of time to love with that agape kind of love and we've decided ahead of time that no matter what someone does or says, no matter how we feel at the moment about that person, we will continue to love them. Trust is built when we love consistently.

So, what does agape love really look like?

It's choosing to love that person who rejects you.

It's choosing to love that person who made a thoughtless remark that offended you.

It's choosing to love the person whose choices are very different from your own.

Please notice I didn't say you had to approve of the thoughtless remark, the rejection, or the choices made by others. Approval is different than love.

I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to be loved by choice and not based solely on an emotion.

After all, God's love is not based on emotion. God's love is consistent. I am so glad for that!

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, 

that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

 - John 3:16

But God shows his love for us in that while 

we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

Guard Your Heart

In Christian circles we've all heard the phrase Guard Your Heart. In fact, I've almost exclusively heard it used in reference to single girls/women. As in, Be careful that you don't get hurt. Well, sistah, that's impossible unless a girl completely shuts herself off from relationships. Even if she did manage to avoid all relationships, there will still be a different kind of "heart problem" because the hurt will come from the lack of relationship. The fact is, we were created to be in relationships (See Genesis 2:18). And any sane married person will tell you that relational hurts still happen after the vows are made.


So what in the world does it mean to Guard Your Heart?

First, let's look at Proverbs 4:23 in a couple of different Bible translations.

Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life. NASB

Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life. NLT 

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life. NKJV 

Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
    that’s where life starts. The Message 

Watch. Keep. Guard. Preserve.
To keep secret. To be kept close.

The original Hebrew word is used here in the sense of a caretaker who watches over a vineyard. Picture how a caretaker keeps watch and defends. He would be diligent about carefully defending his vineyard from elements or pests that might harm it.

Okay, so based on these definitions, it's very possible that we may need to guard our hearts from someone, but not necessarily to avoid possible hurt. We should guard our hearts from anything or anyone that can mess up our relationship with God. So it's way bigger than just about a boy/girl relationship.

So what are we guarding our hearts from? I won't go into an exhaustive list here, but basically we should be careful about anything we let into our minds (what we see, hear, etc.) and the people we allow to get too close who may influence us to make wrong choices. Perhaps that children's song Be Careful Little Hands What You Do isn't so far off base. 

Why are we guarding our hearts? Proverbs 4:23 continues by saying...For from it flow the springs of life. Come again? Our thoughts and actions can shape the way we speak and live. Wrong choices can lead us down the wrong path. Springs of life sounds pretty nice in comparison to the bottom of the dry pit. One is refreshing and the other...not so much.

How do we guard our hearts? This whole chapter of Proverbs 4 is advice from a father to his son about being wise. If you keep reading beyond verse 23 it sort of all comes together (that's the beauty of reading this in context). It tell us what we should do and what will happen when we do it.

²⁴ Avoid all perverse talk;
    stay away from corrupt speech.

²⁵ Look straight ahead,
    and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
²⁶ Mark out a straight path for your feet;
    stay on the safe path.
²⁷ Don’t get sidetracked;
    keep your feet from following evil.

P.S. Don't stop reading here. The entire book of Proverbs is full of wisdom!


Ultimately, I believe that we should be like a shepherd over our own hearts. A shepherd leads. Likewise, we should lead our hearts and not let our hearts lead us. It's dangerous to allow our hearts to lead us into making decisions. Think about it. I'm positive that you have made at least one heart choice and lived to regret it. 

While I was researching this topic, I came across this great quote from a blog I recently started following. 

"Guarding my heart does mean 

allowing no one access to that 

most central place of my affections 

but God. It means keeping 

the first commandment first—and 

 loving Him with all my heart, soul, 

mind, and strength (Deut. 6:5)." 

~ Paula Hendricks 

You may read the entire blog post here:

 http://www.truewoman.com/?id=792

 What do you think?