Expectations vs. Reality

"I've done everything you've asked. So you can give me what I want now."

Have you ever said anything like that to God? My guess is probably not in so many words. Naturally, we know better than to be demanding in that way. Right? (You're nodding your head right now, I hope.) But, maybe we secretly do expect God to respond that way.


This past weekend I watched a livestream of a singles conference from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. They had several good speakers, but one in particular said some things that resonated with me. She talked about life plans. As a young adult, she'd mapped out her life, but it seems as if her expectations did not meet her reality. She was still single when she'd planned to be married with children by now.

Imagine these scenarios:

• You studied for a career, but ended up in a different profession. 
• You had intentions of moving to a particular house/neighborhood/city, but ended up in your 3rd or 4th choice.
• You were sure you would be married by a certain age, but find yourself still single.
• You would have 2 or 3 children by the age of 35, but your house is still empty.
• You planned to travel abroad or be a missionary, but somewhere along the way those dreams are still unfulfilled.

You get the picture. If you haven't imagined your own scenario by now, take a few minutes to think about it. We all have these great plans, but sometimes life doesn't align itself to match our plans. Sometimes these plans are really good things, yet hopes and desires remain unfulfilled.

The thing that really struck a chord with me was when the speaker talked about bargaining with God. It's easy to fall into this perception that if I'm doing all the right things--pursuing God, putting God first, reading my Bible regularly, praying--that it's a given that these expectations would be finally be fulfilled. You know, Do this + this = That. That's the way life works. We have a sense of entitlement after we've done "all the right things" so we think to ourselves, surely now that I've done these things, God will finally give me my heart's desires.

Another week goes by...
           Another month goes by...
                      Another year goes by...

and that desire still hasn't been fulfilled. Then what? We start to question God. We start to question ourselves. We compare our lives to others. We may even try to manipulate circumstances, make changes, or simply take over and do it ourselves.

The speaker shared this quote from John Newton:

"Everything is necessary that God sends our way.

Nothing can be necessary that He withholds."

This quote is profound, yet makes me uncomfortable. These things that I find "necessary" may not be necessary in God's design. I'm still processing that thought. But what all of this reminds me of is a simple Bible verse that God continues to put in my path, and has done so quite a lot lately.

For I know
the plans
that I have for you.
They are plans for good
and not for disaster
to give you a future 
and a hope. - Jer. 29:11


(I broke up the verse this way to cause the reader to stop and consider each of these phrases. I recommend reading it several times this way.)

Most of the time I've stopped reading right there at the end of verse 11. But last week Im my devotional reading the next two verses were tacked onto this. They really stood out to me:

In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jer. 29:12-13



Yes, God has plans for me. He knows the plans and they are good plans. He knows exactly when to unfold these plans for me. In the meantime, I need to keep working on really knowing the One who is in charge of those plans, praying to Him. God is listening even when it seems He isn't. I just need to keep looking to Him. It's there that I will find my Hope. My hope is not in the outcome, it's in the One who is in charge of the outcome.

Linking up with TheBarnPrincess.com:

Futility: What's the Point?

Futility. By definition it means useless acts. The Hebrew meaning is breath or vapor. Essentially it's something that is here one second and gone the next. It's also a word used by Solomon many times in the book of Ecclesiastes. In some versions of the Bible you may recognize the use of the word vanity. 

Personally, I have a harder time identifying with that word in this context. My mind immediately goes to someone who spends a lot of time trying to look good for others, a cabinet in your bathroom, and the song, "You're So Vain." So, I prefer futility or meaningless as a word substitute.

I've experienced a lot of that futility myself. My flesh often sees life through the world’s eyes. I think, What’s the point? It seems the harder I try, the more things stay the same or worsen. It's very much like that addage of taking three steps forward and two steps back. You just can't seem to get any traction and haven't a lot to show for your efforts.

I recall as a teenager studying through the book of Ecclesiastes with a church class. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t really understand it and it was a real downer! I just couldn’t identify with Solomon. As I look back on it, I now understand why. I had not lived a lot of life yet. The idea of futility probably never entered my mind. My whole life was still ahead of me and I had few responsibilities since I was still living in the shelter of my parents.

After living a few more decades (ugh, that sounds old), I've lived through many more experiences--both first-hand and by observation. Life does have a tendency to look futile. But, of course, by whose standards? Are these my standards? The worlds' standards? Or are these God's standards?
 

Yes, I need to see things through God’s eyes. I need to have that heavenly perspective on things and put the measuring stick up against the Bible instead of the world's idea of success. 

Romans 8 reminds us of a different perspective. The things we suffer now will be nothing in comparison to future glory. This earth has been subjected to sin and that makes life pretty icky sometimes (my paraphrase), but we do have hope. 

Solomon's advice was to enjoy things we have rather than desiring those things we don't have. It's not that we cannot desire good things or pursue a better life, but how much time we spend focused on those desires or how much energy we use chasing those dreams can be futile. And, it may not be what God has in mind for us. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 16:9, "The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."

That's what I've been thinking about this week.