Help Me Find It

It's Thanksgiving morning and while I'm preparing food to share with friends and family, I am listening to some of my favorite songs saved on a YouTube channel several years ago. Listening to these songs brings back memories, but one in particular just reminded me of God's sovereignty, His loyal love, and infinite kindness to me.

Help Me Find It is a song by a group called Sidewalk Prophets.When this song was first released on the radio, I remember listening to the lyrics and identifying with its message. Perhaps you've been there, too. You're on a path and suddenly the path is closed off and you're not sure where to turn or even why the path was blocked off. Questions abound: What happened? Why? Where do I go now? Lord, was this your plan?

When I found myself in that very position, this song ministered to my soul. I deferred to God and asked Him to show me the path to take.  

Help me find it.

I will trust in You.

Give me peace for the moment.

I will wait for You.

Those days were not easy, living in the unknown. But, leaning on God during those times did help. Each time this song came on the radio, it was another opportunity for me to renew my commitment to wait on God and His plan.

I can now look back on those times and know that God is faithful to His promises. I am ever so thankful that I yielded to God's plan, even in those moments of hurt.

On this day of Thanksgiving, I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for His blessings that often come through those hard times.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; 

I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. - Psalm 32:8

Pray that the LORD your God will tell us 

where we should go and what we should do. - Jeremiah 42:3

Grateful that God helped me find the right path. 

Life is Messy

Life is messy. There. I said it.

I bet you're reading this and nodding your head. If not, you are young enough to have not experienced enough of that mess that comes with life. Enjoy this time. I'm serious! Enjoy it!

Most of the messy stuff comes from relationships with others.
     Unmet expectations.
        Disappointments.
          Betrayal.
            Miscommunication.
All of these things contribute to heartaches and that overwhelming feeling of . . .

Life is Messy!! Make it stop!!!

We only need to watch the evening news once to see the messy part of life in high definition, full color, and surround sound. There are plenty of reports of lying, cheating, stealing, murder, and the list goes on. Most of these acts are against another human. This brings to mind a B.J. Thomas song: Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song. Country music is full of lyrics about people doing wrong to others.

Yes, I'll say it again, most of the mess comes from relationships.Someone gets angry at a neighbor or spouse and acts upon their anger. Suddenly they have become the subject of a breaking news story. I'll bet in many cases those people would never have thought that would happen.

The truth is that we live in a fallen world. I know. That's Christianese that I'm speaking. So let me define that phrase for those who don't speak church language. A "fallen world" is the result of Adam's sin as recorded in the book of Genesis. Because of that first sin by Adam, we are all born with that nature to sin. And this sin nature continues to come out in each of us. [I don't want to turn this into a theology lesson so I'll stop here, but that isn't the end of the sin story. I suggest reading the book of John in the New Testament to find out about the remedy.]

Now that we've established that our sin nature is behind most of this messy life, what's next? Let me bring this back around to where I started. Relationships are often difficult. People disappoint me and I disappoint others. Relationship woes have been uppermost in my mind over the past few months. These woes have touched every aspect of my life from coworkers and neighbors to loved ones.

There are two things of which I've been reminded through all of this:

1. We are not battling people, we are battling an Enemy greater than that. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, "For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." To put all of this in perspective I must remember when someone I love hurts me, that there is this sin nature at work and Satan is always there ready to tempt me into retaliation. 
2. Retaliation feels good--for a moment. Ephesians 4:26 tells me, "And 'don’t sin by letting anger control you.' Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry." Why should we not let anger control us? Because, as verse 27 so aptly points out, "for anger gives a foothold to the devil." Yep. As soon as I let anger take over, Satan is right there ready to "help me." His kind of "help" may ease the sting temporarily, but nothing good comes from his "help."

Case in point, someone I love dearly did something so unexpected and hurtful to me. After the shock wore off I began mounting my defense. In my mind I began rehearsing what I would like to say and explain how hurtful those actions were to me. In the midst of my hurt I heard a still, small voice in my heart say, "Be angry and sin not." I realized at that moment that while I was planning my own defense I was about to unleash my anger and do something hurtful in return. Yes, it would have felt good at that moment, but only for a moment. Eventually I would have felt worse for inflicting pain. I don't say this to brag about self-control. I say this to confess my own sin nature. It's always lurking.

I was angry because I cared. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Think about it. If someone we don't know makes a flippant comment that makes us angry, we're more likely to shrug it off. When someone we love makes the same comment to us, we take that more seriously and are more likely to retaliate. It's those close relationships that we need to be more guarded about.

When those hurts come flying at us like arrows, the book of Ephesians reminds us that we should be wearing our breastplate of righteousness to defend against those arrows. In fact, we are to "Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil" (Eph. 6:11).

Whether we are dealing with a colleague at work who has it in for us or simply dealing with a loved one who has seriously disappointed us, those relationships have a way of provoking our peace. 

How did I handle the situation mentioned previously? I prayed about it and the Lord showed me that I had already explained my side of the story, in detail, prior to this distress. For now, I should remain silent. If there's any vindication, the Lord will handle it. In my situation I am able to put space between me and this person, but if you are unable to distance yourself from the one who offended you, I urge you to seek God's help and direction on how to handle the situation.


For His glory,

Yes, Adam’s one sin brings 

condemnation for everyone, 

but Christ’s one act of righteousness 

brings a right relationship 

with God and new life for everyone.

Romans 5:18

Absence and Disappointments

I haven't done a lot of writing lately. The last time I posted on this blog (about six weeks ago) I alluded to some things going on in my life that kept me busy, but also some things that were testing my faith.


I have written only a little in my personal journal. Friends on Facebook may have noticed that I don't write/post as often there either. The easy answer is to say that I have gotten out of the habit of writing. Truth. But I've also been struggling to put words to what's been going on inside of me lately.

Each time I think to myself that I should write, I procrastinate and avoid thinking about it. I busy myself with anything else. I suppose avoidance is the main reason I haven't been writing. 


Today I decided to go back to the beginning of this blog and read the first post. It reminded me why I started this blog. I felt as if God was leading me to share things that I was learning as I journeyed through my life. Writing was as much for my own benefit (therapy) as it was for anyone else. I had no idea whether anyone would ever read my blog anyway.

You see, when I started this blog I was recovering from a broken heart over a failed relationship. To maintain some privacy, I have never mentioned that fact before on this blog. I also didn't want my blog to be all about that. I chose to write in general enough terms so that anyone going through difficult circumstances could relate.

The broken heart from two years ago has healed--mostly. I still struggle at times. I won't go into what's happened in the past two years because you can read previous posts on this blog and figure that out. To sum it up it has been a time of waiting, of learning, of praying, of more waiting, and this cycle has continued. 

During these past two years my relationship with Jesus has grown exponentially. I once had a spiritual mentor ask me if I had known what was going to happen before I met this guy, would I still have gone through with it? The answer then was yes. The answer now is still yes. Pain and all, Jesus is still worth it and He's made use of everything I went through.

Two months ago marked the two year anniversary of when that relationship officially ended. Something else changed about that time. This guy, who I still considered a friend, completely disappeared from my life. I had limited contact with him and we did not live in the same city so we never saw each other. However, without any explanation, he suddenly cut off all contact with me. 

Why should I care? Trust me. This doesn't make any sense without all the back story. But, having that door finally and completely closed like that was like a mild earthquake in my life. Yes, earth-shattering describes it. You see, I did not get the closure that I desired, that I had sincerely hoped and prayed for.

Yes, I had fervently prayed for some closure with this man--to clear the air--and had hoped to see that come to fruition. We had been good friends and I wanted to see that friendship return. When that door closed--and God allowed it to be closed--it was upsetting. After pondering my feelings of why I was so upset, I finally came to realize that my feelings were hurt. Not just by this guy, but by God. The truth was that I was disappointed in God.

This disappointment caused me to emotionally shut down in God's presence. Oh, I still read my Bible, I continued to read devotionals and attend church. I even prayed...some. Frankly, I was demoralized. I had lost some confidence and hope in God. When I was believing in Him for something I thought was a good thing and the answer I wanted did not materialize, it shook my faith. 

When it came to praying and asking God for anything I had come to a place of thinking to myself, What's the point? Why should I pray? He'll just say no again.
It reminded me of the time I asked a simple favor of a supervisor and I fully expected a yes based on our relationship and the fact that I rarely asked for favors like this. However, this one time I got a no. It was surprising and disappointing. It made me rethink my relationship with that supervisor and fearful of asking for favors ever again.

Where this situation with God was concerned, in my head I knew that I wasn't thinking correctly. But, my heart was disappointed and confused. My relationship with Jesus had grown to a point of knowing what to expect of Him. So when I didn't get the answer I expected, it was very confusing. I began to question everything that I had been through the past two years and I questioned my intimate relationship with Jesus. It really has been a time of soul-searching.

Then one day a few weeks ago I was scrolling through Facebook and happened to see a quote from an author that I follow. It said, "…the miracles in the authentic Gospels are about love, not power...Although Jesus’ miracles were far too selective to solve every human disappointment, they served as signs of his mission, previews of what God would someday do for all creation." The quote came from a book titled Disappointment With God by Philip Yancy. 

That was it! Seeing that quote and book title helped define what I'd been feeling for several weeks. I bought the e-book and have been reading it. I have found myself nodding in agreement over some of the things I'm reading. I've also found myself very convicted as I realize that this whole life isn't all about me. This has forced me to look at this world from God's perspective and imagine His disappointment with these people He created and how we always fall short. Imagine His disappointment with me! Wow. Talk about turning the tables on the situation!

I won't pretend that everything is "all better now." I am still working through all of these issues with God. I am still healing and learning and processing. And I have to remember to keep my hope in Christ and not in the outcome of a particular request. 

Keeping it real...

Expectations vs. Reality

"I've done everything you've asked. So you can give me what I want now."

Have you ever said anything like that to God? My guess is probably not in so many words. Naturally, we know better than to be demanding in that way. Right? (You're nodding your head right now, I hope.) But, maybe we secretly do expect God to respond that way.


This past weekend I watched a livestream of a singles conference from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. They had several good speakers, but one in particular said some things that resonated with me. She talked about life plans. As a young adult, she'd mapped out her life, but it seems as if her expectations did not meet her reality. She was still single when she'd planned to be married with children by now.

Imagine these scenarios:

• You studied for a career, but ended up in a different profession. 
• You had intentions of moving to a particular house/neighborhood/city, but ended up in your 3rd or 4th choice.
• You were sure you would be married by a certain age, but find yourself still single.
• You would have 2 or 3 children by the age of 35, but your house is still empty.
• You planned to travel abroad or be a missionary, but somewhere along the way those dreams are still unfulfilled.

You get the picture. If you haven't imagined your own scenario by now, take a few minutes to think about it. We all have these great plans, but sometimes life doesn't align itself to match our plans. Sometimes these plans are really good things, yet hopes and desires remain unfulfilled.

The thing that really struck a chord with me was when the speaker talked about bargaining with God. It's easy to fall into this perception that if I'm doing all the right things--pursuing God, putting God first, reading my Bible regularly, praying--that it's a given that these expectations would be finally be fulfilled. You know, Do this + this = That. That's the way life works. We have a sense of entitlement after we've done "all the right things" so we think to ourselves, surely now that I've done these things, God will finally give me my heart's desires.

Another week goes by...
           Another month goes by...
                      Another year goes by...

and that desire still hasn't been fulfilled. Then what? We start to question God. We start to question ourselves. We compare our lives to others. We may even try to manipulate circumstances, make changes, or simply take over and do it ourselves.

The speaker shared this quote from John Newton:

"Everything is necessary that God sends our way.

Nothing can be necessary that He withholds."

This quote is profound, yet makes me uncomfortable. These things that I find "necessary" may not be necessary in God's design. I'm still processing that thought. But what all of this reminds me of is a simple Bible verse that God continues to put in my path, and has done so quite a lot lately.

For I know
the plans
that I have for you.
They are plans for good
and not for disaster
to give you a future 
and a hope. - Jer. 29:11


(I broke up the verse this way to cause the reader to stop and consider each of these phrases. I recommend reading it several times this way.)

Most of the time I've stopped reading right there at the end of verse 11. But last week Im my devotional reading the next two verses were tacked onto this. They really stood out to me:

In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jer. 29:12-13



Yes, God has plans for me. He knows the plans and they are good plans. He knows exactly when to unfold these plans for me. In the meantime, I need to keep working on really knowing the One who is in charge of those plans, praying to Him. God is listening even when it seems He isn't. I just need to keep looking to Him. It's there that I will find my Hope. My hope is not in the outcome, it's in the One who is in charge of the outcome.

Linking up with TheBarnPrincess.com:

Nuggets of Wisdom: Blessing Behind Every Storm

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I began reading a book called Hope Being Gone (Trusting God in the Tough Times) by Cherie Hill. I actually borrowed it through an eReader lending program. I finished it about a week ago and I'm still processing it all.

This eBook contains bonus chapters from two other books by the same author. One is called Be Still. If you've been reading any of my previous blog posts, you may recognize how that phrase has been weaving its way in and through my spiritual life for the past year. Be Still, Kristi, and Know that I am God. How amazing to have this as bonus material! I'll share more from the second bonus book another day.

Today I thought I would share a few meaty quotes, from Be Still.

"When we're resigned to God's care, we won't be frightened by undesirable news, and we won't be trying to constantly figure out the next step. If we have faith in God, we will simply trust, wait, and expect God."

"Don't make the mistake of basing your faith on a particular outcome. We've all done it. We've prayed for God to answer our prayers with very detailed expectations, and we've seen our faith crumble to pieces when things didn't happen the way we thought they should....Faith that grows us trusts in 'Someone' rather than 'something.' "

"God has assured us that there is a blessing behind every storm. When God allows a storm in your life...it has great purpose; if you miss the purpose, you may miss God's will for your life."

from Be Still by Cherie Hill

Expectations and Prayer

I recently wrote a post about Expectations.The main focus of that article was having the proper view of our expectations--a reality check. Interestingly--and I'm sure not coincidentally--I heard a couple of sermons from two different pastors talking about expectations from another perspective: Prayer.

This is an area in which the Lord has been teaching me the past few months. I have this tendency to only bring really big stuff to the Lord in prayer and try not to "bother" God with too many personal requests. Anyone else ever feel like that? I pray for others' needs while pushing my own needs off to the side. I may bring up a request every once in a while and meekly ask God if He might--when He has time--answer it? Then I would be afraid that if I ask for something too much it might come across as demanding or pushy.

So the Lord laid on my heart a few months ago that I should begin to pray fervently for a specific request I have. I should boldly and regularly ask God for an answer to this prayer request. I'll be honest...it's not easy. I suppose it has something to do with my upbringing of being trained to not "beg" for things. However, this fervent prayer is a learning process which has a purpose. 


Let me tie all of this together now: Expectations and Prayer. Acts 3:1-10 is about Peter and John healing the lame begger. This begger was blind from birth and he was carried down to the temple each day where begged for money to live. The beggar saw Peter and John and asked for money. What the lame man really needed was a pair of good legs. But, the begger kept asking for money. 

But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. 

But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of 

Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!”

Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand 

and helped him up. And as he did, 

the man’s feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened.  

He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk! 

Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, 

he went into the Temple with them.

All the people saw him walking and heard him praising God.  

When they realized he was the lame beggar 

they had seen so often at the Beautiful Gate, 

they were absolutely astounded!

Acts 3:4-10

You see, the begger had a real need but he didn't ask for what he really needed. He just kept doing what he always did--begging for money. Granted, he did need money but his real problem was his legs. It appears the begger was setting his expectations too low. The Apostles saw what his real need was.

Obviously, God doesn't need for us to ask for what we want because he already knows. Prayer is not for changing God's mind, it's for us. In my own situation, praying fervently is another way of building this faith relationship between me and God. The loving Father wants his daughter to come to Him with anything that concerns her. My expectations should be focused on God. My heavenly Father created the universe in six days so I know that no problem or request is too big--or too small--for Him to handle.

Charles Stanley once said about prayer that, "God will stir our hearts to pray when it's His will (for us to pray)." If it's not God's will for me to pray about a particular request, He will let me know. There may come a time when it's time to stop praying and do something or to lay aside that request. 

Luke 18 is the parable of the persistent widow which is a great example of prayer. And this verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:17 which says...

Pray without ceasing.

This just scratches the surface on this topic of prayer. But I rather like the idea of setting my expectations high--on God--and laying my requests before Him. I may not always get the answer I want or expect, but I can confidently ask and trust God with the outcome.

Expectations

We all have expectations. Charles Dickens even wrote a novel on the subject which he titled Great Expectations. That novel was about the expectations of a young boy and his hope of achieving something greater in life.

There are ordinary expectations that we all have such as, turning on a light switch and expecting that there will be light. If someone sits in a chair, there is a expectation to believe it will hold that person up. Or you might have an expectation that someone will remember your birthday. Those are all reasonable expectations. In other words, you have every reason to believe that these things will come to pass barring any unforeseen circumstance. Light bulbs occasionally burn out, chairs sometimes break, and people may forget your birthday. But, you can be pretty optimistic that all of these expectations will be met.

Then there is something called False Expectations. I did a little Internet research on this phrase to see what would come up. I found a few random definitions:

Expecting more than you will actually get. 

Unrealistic expectations.

A few examples of unrealistic or false expectations might be expecting mustard to come out of a catsup bottle, having a toddler who will never get messy, or that the Chicago Cubs might actually win a World Series. (Okay, just injecting a little good-natured humor here.) Having these types of expectations will set someone up for disappointment.

Interestingly, when I was researching this topic, I came across a curious acronym:

False Expectations About Reality = FEAR.

I haven't had time to ponder this acronym, but I suppose false expectations could indeed produce fear in addition to disappointment.

Finally, there are Unmet Expectations. In my opinion, these fall somewhere between realistic and false expectations. They are the type of expectations that are often realistic but remain unfulfilled. Examples of this type of expectation would be the hope of landing a job after months of searching, the hope of healing after an illness, or the hope of marriage or family.

From a spiritual standpoint, these false and/or unmet expectations can produce...
     storms (inner turmoil)
          faith that wavers
               doubt
                    discouragement.

This especially happens when we put all our hopes and dreams into a particular outcome, praying over something and not seeing any results. Putting all our hopes into a particular outcome like this can cause faith to waver. When we don't see the answer we are expecting, it throws us off kilter.

I like this quote from Cheri Hill, author of Waiting On God. "Our false expectations can create a storm in and of itself. When life doesn't happen just as we think it should, the winds start roaring and the storm clouds look ferocious. Our faith can begin to fail amidst the overwhelming atmosphere of doubt and despair."

There are a few problems with this type of scenario.

1. Our hopes should never be pinned on a particular outcome. Our hope should always be directed to the Lord. That doesn't mean we can't hope for or pray for something to come to pass, but ultimately we must remember God is sovereign. This is presuming that what's being hoped for is something that is not against biblical principles.
2. We must trust God with our hopes and expectations even to the point of surrendering them. This is NOT easy to do. But this is a place where God wants us to be--a place of rest and trust in Him. It's also a place where He wants to teach us and grow our faith.

I wish I could say that I have this all figured out, but the truth is I struggle with these issues. I am in good company, though. The Apostle Paul asked the Lord to remove his thorn in the flesh many times but never had that prayer answered. He did learn to accept it. David was anointed King and then had to run for his life for more than ten years. The Psalms are full of his prayers asking for God's help. After being anointed King, one would have a realistic expectation that being hunted down was not part of that plan--right?

It all seems to serve a greater purpose than we can understand. Even in the unmet expectations, God can have a purpose that we may not understand this side of heaven. That takes us back to God's sovereignty. God's able to see the whole enchilada. Whereas we can only see situations from our little microscope. We just have to continually pray and ask God to show us if our expectations are realistic, then take a deep breath and trust God with all our expectations.

Have you struggled with this issue? What has helped you?

The Easy Way vs. The Best Way

There's an adage in the business world which goes something like this: "Do you want it fast? Do you want it cheap? Or do you want it good? Pick two." In other words, you cannot have all three. It's either going to be fast and cheap (but not good), fast and good (but not cheap), or cheap and good (but not fast). That does seem to describe most products in the marketplace, doesn't it? I'll admit that I like to do things the easy way, which is usually the fastest route, even if it's not always the best way.

Have you ever noticed that God rarely seems to do things the "easy way?" At least, it never seems like the easy way when it involves something I want, I'm waiting on, or interrupts my plans. My mind goes to a story we all know about a young woman who received a divine revelation which directly affected her life and her plans. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a very young woman. In our day and age she would be considered a girl, probably still in school and looking forward proms. But Mary's future had been planned by her family that she would marry a carpenter, Joseph. All was going according to plan until she had an angelic visit announcing a "change of plan." God had something different in mind for Mary and Joseph.

Of course, the first thing Mary did was question this new plan: “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.” Luke 1:34   [Questioning. Check.]

Then Mary responded to the angel: “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” Luke 1:38   [Acceptance and Anticipating. Okay, a very hesitant check.]


Finally, Mary shared the news with a loved one, she considered all that had happened, and responded like all of us would when our plans suddenly get changed by singing: “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!" Luke 1:46-47  [Sharing and Singing. Half a check for talking about it.]

If you go on to follow the life of Mary, you'll note that several times she "ponders things in her heart." Those are the things which she observes but cannot explain outside of God's sovereignty. She holds them in her heart, probably (just guessing here) rolling them over in her mind multiple times hoping that one day it will all make sense. So why would God choose to interrupt her plans and expose Mary to ridicule for being unmarried and pregnant? Of course, looking back from our perspective we can see that it was all for God's glory that He chose that particular path for her.

Confession: These are not my typical responses to a sudden change of plans. Depending on the scenario, I can sometimes roll with the change and be flexible. But if it's something I was really, really counting on it could take me a good, long while to get through the questioning stage and then I might accept it begrudgingly. Note to self: There's definitely something to be learned from Mary.

God always chooses the best way for us. His best way may not always be the fastest or the funnest way. The best way often involves stretching our faith to the point in which we are forced to draw upon God's strength and usually teaches us something we might not have learned any other way. The best way will likely be different for each one of us. Two people could be going through similar circumstances. One person's "best way" may involve waiting for an answer to a prayer for years. The other person's "best way" may involve waiting for an answer to prayer for a few months. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Yeah...This is the point where trust becomes essential. Trusting in God's sovereignty and His loyal love. We can try to manipulate our circumstances but we may miss out on some blessings along the way.

Another confession: I've been through 22 months of "the best way." Now, if I had received a divine message from an angel about the circumstances that would unfold, I doubt that I could have handled the news as well as Mary. But, God knew exactly what He was doing. I've learned so much, have been blessed beyond measure, and grown closer to the Lord than ever. 

Disappointment

Disappointment comes from unmet expectations. These unmet expectations can turn into...

• Anger
• Bitterness
• Reliving the past (if only...)
• Anxiety
• Frustration
• Unforgiveness
• Jealousy
• Disillusionment

We've all experienced varying degrees of disappointment. As a child we're told NO when we really want to hear YES. As a teenager we're disappointed when that guy or girl we admire doesn't show any interest. Adults experience disappointment when the job or promotion they hope to receive doesn't come through or a spouse forgets our birthday. Many of us are experiencing disappointment right now. Fill in the blank: "I'm disappointed now because _____________."

I was talking with a friend about this topic. Something we wanted so badly didn't happen. These desires (unmet expectations) were really good things to want but they didn't work out the way we hoped it would or when we thought it would. Inevitably those unmet expectations turned into things like anger, frustration, and bitterness. In the circumstances my friend and I were discussing, our disappointments were aimed at God.

Why would God not answer this prayer? 

What is He waiting on? 

Why would God allow us to go through this? 

Answers to these questions will be different for each person and each circumstance. Only the Lord knows the answers and may choose to reveal them to us in time (or in His sovereignty God may choose to never reveal it). Some circumstances in life don't seem to make sense to us. We have limited vision but God can see the whole picture (past, present, and future) and knows perfectly well why things happen the way they do. Ultimately it's our response to these disappointments that are most important.

How should we respond to a disappointment?

We should confess the disappointment to God, pouring our hearts out to Him. He already knows what we're feeling, but talking to God about it opens our hearts up for His love and comfort in the midst of it. If we choose to remain angry at God--giving Him the silent treatment--what good does that do? It only hurts us in the long run and it doesn't get us any closer to an answer either.

Remember that God is in control and has our best interest in mind. Just as a parent will withhold a treat from a child because it might spoil her dinner, God may withhold something we want now because He's got something far better in mind. This is where trust comes in. We have to trust in God's Word and in God himself. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28)."


It's really easy to get stuck in the If-Onlys and the What-Ifs of the past. We should ask God if it's time to move away from that unmet expectation and ask Him to replace it with anticipation for something He desires for us to have. “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland (Isaiah 43:18-19)."

What about you? How have you handled disappointment? Are there any Bible verses that have helped you with these unmet expectations?