Nuggets of Wisdom: HOPE

It's been a while since I've shared some Nuggets of Wisdom. It used to be a regular feature on this blog, but thought it would be a good time to bring it back this week. It's been somewhat of a theme week for me.

Below are a few things I've run across this week that are "little jewels" I have found inspiring and helpful. I'll share the quote and then a few of my own thoughts.


Nugget #1

"When everything seems to be going wrong, refuse to get discouraged. ...The longer you wait for your prayers to be answered, the closer you are to a breakthrough." From Jesus Today by Sarah Young

It's so easy to get discouraged when things aren't going the way we planned or hoped, isn't it? We have hopes and dreams unfulfilled, day after day, week after week, and year after year. We pray fervently for someone and still don't see a change day after day, week after week, and year after year. Little by little the time between our petitions get a bit longer and sometimes we just give up. Then the Lord reminds us to keep praying, to keep waiting on Him, to place our hope in Him. The Lord uses the testimony of someone else to remind you: He Remembers. He hasn't forgotten. Oh, how sweet that reminder is.

Nugget #2

"...there is never a time when we cannot hope in God, whatever our need or however great our difficulty may be. Even when our situation appears to be impossible, our work is to 'hope in God.' Our hope will not be in vain, and in the Lord's own timing help will come." From Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman.

Well, this has been a week in which I needed to hear these encouraging words of hope, of promise, or God remembering me. It hasn't been a bad week at all. Rather it's been a week of sameness. I get up in the morning, go to work, come home, and go to bed. Very routine and sometimes dull. Oh, yeah I've been doing things around the house, on Facebook, some reading, that kind of thing. But sometimes I long for other things, a slightly different life. At the same time, I'm trying to embrace these quiet days of routine as all part of God's blessing. I am continuing to put my hope in God and his timing. I am thankful for that reminder this week: None of this is in vain; nothing is wasted.



Nugget #3

"You may be sure that God will never say to us, 'Stand still,' 'Sit still,' or 'Be still,' unless He is going to do something." From Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman.

I am always anxious to jump in and just "gitter done,"so sitting still and waiting on God to act often feels painfully slow. But, allowing God to work in His time in His way is always the best choice. I place my hope in God. I was talking with a friend with week about this very topic of "being still" before the Lord. This has been a recurring phrase in my life for the past two years. Over and over again, scripture has reminded me that I am supposed to be still in one particular area of my life: my singleness. It's the same one I've referred to above. And that leads me to one other nugget related to all of this...



Nugget #4

"...faith requires us to do nothing at all, while our human nature screams to interfere. In these cases we believe; therefore, we do not act. Wisdom is knowing the difference between the two." From Believing God by Beth Moore.

This quote will require a little background. Faith often requires action such as when God told Abraham to pick up and move or He told Noah to build an Ark. But, sometimes faith means taking no action. A case in point is when Jesus was being arrested before the crucifixion. He could have done something about it, but Jesus chose to trust God's plan.
     When the world screams at me that I need to do something about my singleness, it's hard not to get worked up about it. I mean, I really would like to do something about it. But, I have to keep going back to God and asking Him what what He wants me to do about it. The answer always comes back to: Wait. Be still. God wants to do something in my life and frankly I think He doesn't want to share the glory with me. Ha! But, I can place my hope in God and not in my self. Self always thinks she knows what should be done, but self is often wrong.


So, let me tie all this together...

Did you see a common thread running through all of these? It's the word Hope.
     Hope is lost when we don't see a future. When we can't see what God is doing, we can't see a future, and it's dark, that's when faith has to kick in. I've used this quote before on this blog and even have it posted in my kitchen:

"The greatest lessons in faith are learned in the dark." ~ Tony Evans

When we are hopeless (or discouraged) we cannot see the future or what God is doing. The future looks dark and God keeps telling us to be still because He knows the plan. You see, God knows the plans He has for us and it's a good one (Jeremiah 29:11). God does His best work behind the scenes. We just continue to look to Him for our hope and our future.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, 

because anyone who comes to him must believe 

that he exists and that he rewards those 

who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Recommended Resource for Singles

Another website I subscribe to recommended this short video and was intrigued by the title: Dealing With Disappointment When You're Single. Steve DeWitt recorded this video; he's a pastor and was single into his 40s. This guy knows what he's talking about. I truly appreciate where he's coming from and his sound, biblical advice in this video.

Click Here to watch Video

I also appreciated hearing Steve say, "Have you noticed the real "experts" on singleness are married people? They say things like, 'Surrender this to the Lord, because until you do God's not going to bring you a wife.'"

In other words, Jesus needs us to jump through certain hoops and follow these seven or ten steps before a mate will be given to a Christian. Huh??? I don't think so.

The "expert" advice we singles often get are from well-intentioned people who simply want to help, but sometimes they just don't get it. I remember being told once that I didn't market myself well. (Hellooo...I'm not a commodity.)

I think this is a good reminder to all of us--me included--that we can't hand out advice like Tic-Tacs. If we really don't know the answer, say so. Let's be careful not to make something up to fill the silence. Sometimes people just want to be heard--to know that someone understands. But, I digress... 

Ultimately, if we have Christ, we have all that we need. Watch this short vlog on the subject of Dealing With Disappointment When You're Single.

(in)Joy! -- Encouragement for Single Women

www.incourage.me

 

Join me at (in)Joy! an online community of single, professional women who desire to grow in God's truth and discover what it means to daily find our joy in Him.

I will be co-leading the group this session as we do a book study, share prayer requests, and encourage each other. This group is part of the (in)courage community of women who meet on Facebook. I joined this group one year ago as a participant and enjoyed having like-minded women to communicate with on a regular basis. It's been interesting to see how God has opened the door for me to go from being a regular member to now leading this group.

Groups will be limited to 30 participants. The Fall session begins September 23rd, 2013. Please register today at (in)Joy!  Hope to see you there!!


P.S. If you're not a single, professional woman, no worries!  (in)courage has 70 different groups of women with common interests such as creative writing, empty-nesters, stay-at-home moms, and support groups for caregivers. Check all the groups out today!

Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting Some More

I've posted about the topic of waiting several times in the past. If you've ever noticed my "topic cloud" on the right side of this blog page, the topics I've written about most often appear much larger than others. The subject of waiting is not in the top five, but it's definitely been visited a lot on this blog. And, if you're curious about those other posts, here's a link to them: Waiting.

I've been trying to think of something to write about for the past few days. I've listened to some great sermons, read some very interesting devotionals and blogs. However, the thing that is uppermost in my mind is this topic of waiting. As a matter of fact, I went back to a book that I read last year on this topic. It's called Waiting On God by Cherie Hill. I've marked it up quite a bit and went back to read the highlighted portions. I was in need of some encouragement and it helped. (There's a link here directly to the book if you're curious about it.)

Then today I was checking Twitter during my lunch hour and saw a tweet from a fellow writer that really got my attention. It was "I'm Tired of Being Single." Dun-dun-dun!!! GASP! That's exactly why I was tired of waiting. Tired of waiting for a mate. Tired of being alone. Just tired of it all--plain and simple. [I included a link above if you'd like to read his article.]  That article pretty much sums up my feelings.

I'm a very patient person. Seriously! Once I got out of my teen years, I managed to live and wait three decades for a mate. THREE DECADES! And I'm still waiting as I enter decade #FOUR.

Now, before you think I'm just ranting and raving like a lunatic (she's lost her mind and we'd better have an intervention), I'm mostly okay with the waiting. I mean, I have a good--very blessed--life. I have wonderful friends and family. I have meaningful work and hobbies. I do my best to glorify God in whatever I do. The key here is the word mostly.  I do have days--sometimes weeks--in which I'm not really okay with the waiting.

I do understand that "the other side" is not a bed of roses and won't be the answer to all my problems. Life doesn't suddenly get better simply because of a relationship. In fact, it probably gets much more complicated. None of that still takes away that desire to share your life with someone who's closer than a roommate or good friend.

So I continue to wait on God's best for me. I wait for God's timing. And I pop the waiting Bible verses like tic-tacs after a spicy meal. Yes, I've got a list. And then I devour books like Cherie Hill's. In parting, I want to share a few of her thoughts on waiting:

"While you’re waiting, God wants you praying, 

drawing nearer to Him, and resting in the peace 

that He provides in the midst of a raging storm. 

As you wait, God strengthens you because you begin 

to realize that God IS at work . . . He’s growing 

your faith and He’s purifying your heart. And faith

is rarely grown with anything other than 

overwhelming circumstances, and typically not 

found in any place other than the 'waiting place.'"
~ Cherie Hill

"You can’t say that you’re praying for God’s will 

and trusting in His timing if you’re not willing 

to 'wait.'"  ~ Cherie Hill

This is a paraphrase of one of her thoughts: The waiting place is where God tests our faith. But, we can know that God will not leave us in that waiting place any longer than absolutely necessary to accomplish His purposes. 

"...no eye has seen a God like you,
    who works for those who wait for him!"

 Isaiah 64:4b

Just being real...

An Open Letter to Christian Singles

Dear Single Friend:

Every human being has a physical heart. But we also have this place in our soul that is also referred to as our heart. That’s what I want to talk about here—specifically about male/female relationships. I’m no expert in this area, by any means, but I’ve witnessed a lot of heartache and experienced some of my own. It seems most of the heartache is due to carelessness and recklessness—both avoidable. Either way, it appears education in this area of life is lacking. And if we are being taught these things, it’s a little too late because we’re hard of hearing or hard of listening. Unfortunately, it seems we have to learn these truths only by actually going through the fire or watching a loved one go through it.

We’re all born with a new heart which is ready to accept all that life has to offer. As we experience life, events begin to tug at and imprint themselves onto our hearts. All these experiences make us into what we are today—the good and the bad. The good news is that God can use and will use all these experiences for His good and to accomplish His purpose for our lives. But, sometimes we open ourselves up to experiences that God didn’t intend for us.

I believe we need to remember that a person’s heart is not an amusement park ride which is ridden briefly and then we’re on to the next ride looking for bigger and better thrills. The heart is not something that you should offer to just anyone nor should it be taken without permission. 

The heart is the center of the body, the hub where all the important activity intersects. It’s also that metaphorical place where all our emotions are stored. Our Hopes, our Dreams, and the Spiritual side of our lives all reside there. Therefore we need to be really careful with our hearts. (If you have young children, please begin teaching this to them now.)

Our heart should be carefully guarded when it comes to dating relationships. There is an awful lot of “using” going on between men and women. You know the scenario: Person #1 isn’t really serious about the person #2, but decides they’ll keep their company until someone better comes along. Person #2 has no idea what Person #1 is thinking and opens up their heart, willingly handing bits of their heart over to them. When the truth finally comes to light, Person #1 has happily moved on to Person #3. Meanwhile Person #2 is left picking up the broken pieces of their life.

Who is to blame in the scenario above? The way I see it, both parties are to blame. It’s easy to place all the blame on Person #1. Number 1 knowingly used the other person! However, the second party opened his or herself up to this heart-hijacking. In most cases, Person #2 will often have a sense about the intentions of Person #1. But that feeling is often hidden in denial or simply dismissed. It’s quite possible that gut feeling may have been the Holy Spirit warning Person #2. On the flip side, Person #2 may have used Person #1 to selfishly fulfill a need in his or her own life. It’s that lonely, empty place which we try to fill where only God should reside.

Marriage is a covenant relationship ordained by God. I’m sure He never intended for us to leave bits of our hearts and lives scattered amongst a long string of casual dates. Dating is a very modern concept so you won’t find a check list for dating in the Bible. However, you can find lots and lots of information about how to treat other people. For starters, remember the “One-Anothers” and the "Love Chapter"? These Biblical principles apply to those you date too.

To sum it up, Be Careful with Your Heart. The heart is a fragile place, subject to wear and tear, bruising, as well as outright abuse. We also need to have more consideration for others above our own selfish gain. 

Philippians 2: 3-5 says: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  

not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

Sacrificial love = Christ’s love. 

We need to see more of this type of love in all relationships.

I came up with the following list. If you have some constructive ideas to add, please share. This list doesn't need to stop at 10!

Ten Commandments for Christian Singles

Love God with all your heart. If you have a right relationship with God, your relationships with others will be right.
 

God comes first in your life—before dating, your ministry, or job. Anything or anyone that occupies your thoughts more than God has become an idol in your life. 

Be honest. Keep lines of communication open from the beginning. If you don’t feel like you’ll ever truly be interested in a long-term future with someone, let them know so they can make an informed decision.

Take care of yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It’s good for you and it will be good for your future mate.

Don’t be envious of married people. They have problems too. Many are envious of your freedom! Enjoy it while you can and use your freedom to do things you cannot do when you have family responsibilities.

Know yourself. If you have the temperament to handle casual dating and are able to enjoy it without endangering another person’s feelings, then go for it. But, if you have a tendency to love deeply and loyally, you may not be able to casual date. 

Pray. Stay in constant communication with God. Listen for and ask daily for His guidance concerning your relationships.

Respect the boundaries of others—physical and emotional boundaries. Don’t steal another person’s heart or anything else that belongs to him or her.

Be faithful. Once you embark upon a committed relationship, have eyes only for that person (after God, of course).

Keep silent. Don’t use the “L” word until you are absolutely certain about your feelings. In general, our society is too casual with the word LOVE. We love pizza. We love football. Honestly, love should be reserved for people—friends, family, and mates.

 Text (c) 2012 The Blue-Eyed Babe.